The Prick is in bold... You think I don't have the stones to pick all road winners? You think I won't pick teams playing away from home? You think I give a shit? I am absolutely working college football right now like a Thai fucking hooker so shut your mouth and enjoy the free ride!!!

Hawaii @ Colorado(-14)
One time on vacation I slept with a really hot girl who lived in Hawaii and worked at my hotel... She thought I was her chance to get off the island, I wasn't. Warriors pull the upset in Boulder.

USC(-11) @ Minnesota
Lane Kiffin owes me roughly 1500$ and it would be appreciated if he starts paying back today. Teams with rodents for mascots only exist in the Little Ten and they all suck. Plus... Just look at these whores.


Air Force @ Oklahoma(-16.5)
Tommy Shots likes the triple option more than he likes slutty women.


Baylor @ TCU(-21)
TCU is the master of the "let down" vs. local opponents... I agree that Baylor would not win 3 games in most major conferences, but look for the Bears to put up a fight here vs those little Horned Babys.



Navy(-3) @ Louisiana Tech
Again, Tommy Shots likes the triple option more than loose women. BEST BET SURE MONEY TAKE THE MIDSHIPMEN... TOMMY SHOTS 17 STAR GUARANTEED LOCK!!!


Texas(-3.5) @ Texas Tech
Texas Tech leads the nation in STD's... No thanks, we will take the horns and those cute little spandex shorts the gals wear.


Notre Dame @ Michigan State(-3.5)
Catholics vs. Convicts... Coming off a tough loss to Michigan I think this trip is going to resemble the fucking crusades!!! Let's go IRISH!!!


Wake Forrest @ Stanford(-17.5)
Harbaugh is such a fucking dildo!!!