Lox? More Like Cream-Cheese Spread If You Ask Me!

First and foremost, I'd like to apologize for my 3-4 record last week with my Fresh Nova Scotia Lox. I guess they aren't so fuckin fresh, huh? As a matter of fact, they were fuckin rotten! The lox had a similar aroma to Ugly Betty's vagina after she eats a full sack of White Castles, and smokes a pack of Virginia Slims! Disgusting! I'm embarrassed, and I promise to clean up my act this week. All In all, I had gone 5-2-1 in my eight picks prior to Saturday's, and I slouch at a modest 10-10-2 on the year. Quite frankly, I'm depressed and ashamed with such an average fuckin performance thusfar. I don't deserve decaf or regular! For goodness sakes I don't even deserve a pack of fuckin Swiss Miss! Nothing but Sanka for this fuckin prick! Week 5 starts tomorrow with Texas A & M taking on Sean Sutton and those pill-popping-'Pokes from Stillwater! I don't know about you fuckin pricks, but I'm putting Week 4 in my rearview...