I rather be stranded on a fuckin island ala Tom Hanks in "Castaway," with Richard fuckin Simmons, than play one fuckin down for Wade "Fatso" Phillips! I rather walk around with a $5 Footlong up my fuckin fanny for a year straight, than be forced to play for such a fat fuckin fraud of a coach. The only thing smaller than Wade's dick must be his fuckin brain! I'm honestly amazed this cocksucker still has a job in the fuckin NFL, I truly am. He's the exact fuckin opposite of every other coach in the NFC East, other than Andy Reid, who is also extremely obese. That's where it ends though, because Reid is a leader, and Phillips is a loser. Jerry Jones should have chopped this guy's prick off years ago! Great start to the season, Cowboys! The Redskins d-line dominated you fags last night! Wade's teams are more undisciplined than Oliver from "The Problem Child!" Sit, Wade! Take a seat, fucko! Hey, what do I know though? I sit in the corner with my spoon in the creamed spinach every fuckin night! Now let's go have a God-damn snack! 
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