Just like Simba after his evil Uncle Scar chases him off... Tiger Woods is now in search of a new family. Let me give Tiger a little professional advice. As my colleague has stated many times Tiger does two things well... He drills putts, and he drills sluts. I say Tiger goes back to his fundamentals and just becomes a complete sexual deviant and dominant golfer worldwide. We all make mistakes and Tiger is no different, his fatal flaw? He married a fucking maid, Jesper Parnivik's maid. What the fuck was that? Are you kidding me? The greatest golfer in the world marries some broad that changes diapers? Not going to work well for either party. I know some of you are wondering how I can say such things and how Tiger won't sleep at night because he is such a bad guy. Let me tell you something. You want to know how Tiger sleeps at night? He sleeps on piles of hundred dollar bills with a sticky dicky from some pornstar he just defiled... Doesn't sound that bad to this prick.
In fact, I want to welcome Tiger back to the single life musically... Hakuna Matata you horny little bastard!!!
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