Good Morning Pledges,
Tommy Shots has returned from another fun filled jaunt to the Pacific Northwest and let me share a few memories with the class... First of all I caught the beginning of the Hills on my hotel television last night and although I had never seen the Hills I figured it couldn't be that bad. There was another reason, Tommy Shots was horny... Tommy wanted to see some Hills sluts and maybe even have a session of non-nude, cable TV inspired flag waving before I hit the sack. I have seen these girls on the world wide web and they are worthy of a spank, a tug, and maybe even a rub if I am feeling generous. Well after about five minutes of watching this shit I slowly removed the muzzle of the shotgun from my mouth and grabbed the controller, I changed the channel and spent the remainder of the night trying to feel heterosexual again. If I were President for a day my first Executive Order would be to raise a special forces unit similar to the S.S. in Nazi Germany to root out Hills fans and have them systematically killed. No torture, no imprisonment, no interrogation because God knows we don't need any information from these fucks... As for Spencer Pratt? Oh man, Spencer Pratt... Well to start with I want this guy to eventually die in some sort of an out of control fire. In a perfect world I would get to start the fire, watch it burn for a while, listen to him scream... And then slowly walk away satisfied before enjoying a victorious post game meal at Denny's.
No comments:
Post a Comment