Little Cromarties,
Ever noticed people at grocery stores have no manners? Constantly you have got cocksuckers leaving carts in the parking lot, cutting line, blocking aisles with their fucking carts while they selfishly look for the best deal, it goes on and on. Well yesterday I had my own little moment of being an inconsiderate guy, although it was no fault of my own. As I grazed for food along the endless aisles I had a slight disturbance in my lower abdomen... You guessed it, gas. I didn't see this being a problem as most of the store was empty and the only decent piece of trim was of the "snaggletooth variety" and was punching buttons on the register up front. So I meandered into an empty space along the freezer aisle and released a test fart to see what exactly I was dealing with. Generally a test fart is 10 or possibly even 15 percent of the entire package... The test was uneventful and so I casually picked up the pace and headed for the pasta aisle to grab my dinner, all the while allowing the entirety of the gas evacuate into the atmosphere of the market. As I reached for the rigatoni everything changed... My test had let me down, rotten fucking eggs, a sulphur bath for all who walked into the path. I didn't know what to do, there was no alarm to pull. There was mayhem building on the pasta aisle and there was nothing I could do when all of a sudden, not one, but two carts turned the corner and headed for the spaghetti. Needless to say, nobody had pasta for dinner. One at a time I watched these poor fuck's walk, stop, frown, wonder, ponder, contemplate the origin, gag, and leave. One guy even said a quick "whoa" as if he had almost lost his balance, which I am sure was slowly happening. Anyways, I went about my business and enjoyed my dinner. Did I care about the people? No, I generally don't give a shit about random people and these victims were no different... Besides when you are at the grocery store, everyone is a Prick, so act accordingly.
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