Nolan Ryan has rubbed some musclecream all over his beanbag, and pulled off a coup in acquiring starting pitcher Cliff Lee from the putrid Seattle Mariners. What a fuckin mess the Mariners are these days, huh? You'd think that crazy tampon Lilo was running the team up there in the pacific northwest. I gotta think this seals the deal on the AL West for the Texas Rangers. The deal between the Yanks and Mariners fell through a short while ago, and the M's found a way to squeeze out some better prospects from the Rangers, including stud first baseman and former SC Gamecock, Justin "I love To" Smoak. I applaud this fuckin move by the Rangers, and I'm glad they were aggressive in trying to make a serious postseason push. It's about fuckin time, right? This is great news for PricksRus! We're gonna hit the road and head down to Arlington! Zima City! Sluts in baseball jerseys and tight jean shorts! Nothing but thongs and bongs, and doing wrong! Here we come, Arlington! Hide the kids! Hide the losers! Hide the jerkoffs! It's going to be a Texas-sized party at the Ballpark tonight!!! Goldschlager and bruschetta for everyone!
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