Cocksucker Crawls To Miami...

Knock Knock...Who's There? Delonte....Delonte who? Delonte's moving in now that fagboy packed up and moved south!!!! Yes, folks, Lebron James showed he's the ultimate fuckin loser last night by making his decision to take his diva act to South Beach and play for the Miami Heat. The queen will play second fiddle to Dwayne Wade, and stick his tongue up Lizard Bosh's ashy fanny for the next seven fuckin years. This guy is an immature piece of trash, and a dogshit fuckin leader! Get ready for the Heat to be on national television non-fuckin-stop too, so I hope you're all ready for a constant game of circle-jerk, because I'm sure not. Lebron looked like a giant fuckin clit last night sitting in that chair speaking with Jim Gray, what a dog and fuckin pony show the whole thing was! Those kids in the background should have been throwing rotten tomatoes at the both of them when he announced he was going to Miami! Stay in Cleveland! Go to Chicago! Go to New York City! Be a big fish in a big pond! Lebron showed his true colors last night! His favorite ice cream flavor is Rainbow Sherbert!

Miami? Miami might be the worst fuckin sports town in America! The fans don't even sellout playoff games down there! It doesn't matter if the fuckin Marlins are in the World Series, the fans still don't show up! Heat games? Give me a break! What fuckin Heat fan do you know? Have you ever heard anyone say, 'Wow, those Heat fans are relentless!' The answer is NO! Lebron comes off as the biggest follower in the world here! What kind of faggot invites Chris Bosh to his party, and Bosh says, 'Ha, you're house sucks, and so does your beer, I'm going to Miami,' and then Lebron says, 'Yeah, you're right Chris, I'll go to your party instead!' Who does that! A fuckin fraud does that! A loser does that! The only mountain this trio is climbing is of the brokeback variety! I rather hang out with Jared Fogle than Lebron James! I rather dip my prick in Deepwater Horizon than spend one fuckin minute with these fuckin helmets. Take on a challenge! Take on the NY Knicks! Play in Madison Square Garden under the brightest lights in the world! Play in Chicago! Get a statue next to Jordan's! Stay in Cleveland and be a fuckin hometown legend! This guy is Alicia Silverstone co-starring Stacey Dash - CLUELESS!!! I got your Vitamin Water right here, Lebron...My dog was thirsty this morning!