Chris Johnson: "Pay Me, Pricks!"

Contract negotiations between Chris Johnson and the Tennessee Titans have come to a standstill, and it's not making the young runningback out of East Carolina too happy. Johnson doesn't give a shit about teams being hesitant to dish out big money because of the looming work stoppage. This man just needs to be paid, period. Johnson has informed the Titans that they can go fuck off until they bump his salary, as he's only scheduled to make a paltry $500K this upcoming season. Chris is looking to bring home $2.5 Million instead, and we think he deserves it for his team-first attitude. This is a guy who rushed for 2,006 Yards in 2009, and he wants a long-term deal with about $30 Million in guaranteed money. The Titans need to wake up and realize he is the franchise, or else they'll be banking on Vince Young to put fannies in the seats. That's Rosie O'Donnell clit-scary! No fans should have to rely solely on Vince, especially fans from the passionate football state of Tennessee. If it was up to me, all I could offer Chris is a taste of the Tri-State, and a pussy-sandwich from the finest perfume and makeup-counter girls around! BINGO!