The New York Yankees deserve more than the Loser Du Jour, they deserve to have their dicks chopped off, because they are playing like a bunch of fuckin pussies! The leader of the faggot brigade? His name is Mark "I Have A Disgustingly-Ugly Wife" Teixeira! Teixeira is 0-10 in the ALCS, and he couldn't be any fuckin softer. He makes the Pillsbury Doughboy blush, he makes Gabourey Sidibe's tummy feel like a piece of fuckin granite! How about a hit, Mark?!?! Just one fucking hit! PLEASE! PRETTY FUCKING PLEASE WITH A PUSSY-CHERRY ON TOP!!!! Goodness fuckin gracious! What the fuck is going on out there?!?! The performance at the plate for this team is sickening! I have to walk around town with a fuckin vomit bag! I threw up all over the register at Dunkin fuckin Donuts this morning!! America runs on Dunkin, huh? How about America runs on my fuckin prick! I piss pumpkin lattes in my sleep! Just check my fuckin sheets, Teixeira! They used to be white! Don't get mad at me, fucko! I'm not the one who married a grenade who wears provolone perfume on her pussy! Get a fuckin hit, cocksucker! This series is fuckin over! The way the Yankees got on their fuckin knees for Cliff Lee last night, you'd think their hitting coach was Audrey Bitoni! Gimme a fuckin break already! The Yankees are 1-20 in the ALCS with runners in scoring position, stay hot!
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