Wow, if only we could see what is going on down south in this photo... Probably an awesome pair of Nike slacks, or some b-list skank who can't get enough black snake. Okay, back to business. Ten years ago I cheered against Tiger, I was always a David Duval guy, I now admit that was a mistake but back in the day Duval had serious game and serious shades appealing to any confused fourteen year old. For anyone who plays golf on a consistent basis with married guys their favorite topic of conversation tends to be poking, and the lack of it in their lives... Not Tiger. Tiger got laid bi-daily during his marriage and he fucked everything: black, white, brown, yellow, reddish fake tan, blond, brunette, red head, one leg, three arms, c-section scars, on the rag, off the rag, yeast infections, in Asia, in Australia, his neighbors daughter, anything with a fucking heartbeat. If you played golf with this married guy and he started telling stories you would need a break at 9 to head into the club house for a little flag waving session before the backside. Tiger seems to be our kinda prick!!! Here is what I want from Tiger this weekend. Tiger tees off in just under an hour from right now... I want greatness, I mean greatness. Give me two 65's and a smug little "I nailed your sister" grin. Then when the last putt drops on the picturesque 18th at Pebble I want Tiger to fuck the hole. I am not talking on the scorecard, I want him to casually remove his clothes and sit down on the green, take a few minutes to warm up and then I literally want him to have sexual intercourse with the fucking hole in the green. Maybe a quick swim in the Pacific and then off to do the interviews. Tiger Woods 2010 US Open champion... Please Tiger, we need it.
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