Happy Father's Day Gentlemen!

I think it's only appropriate here at PricksRus to honor some of the fine Fathers out there on their special day. When I think of a role-model, a positive influence, a man with morals, a man with smarts, and let's face it folks, a man who is horny, there are some real gems that come to mind.

I think of guys like Jets DB Antonio Cromartie - 7 Kids in 5 States - Congrats Antonio! Keep up the good work!!! Condoms are just like you, OVERRATED!!!

PricksRus would also love to extend special Happy Father's Day wishes to ex-NFL RB Travis Henry - 11 Kids W/ 9 Women - This guy is what fatherhood is all about, in my opinion. I happen to know Travis, and he's really just a family-oriented guy. He enjoys dancing around his child-support payments the way he used to dance around linebackers when he played for the Broncos. I'm surprised Henry isn't the Governor of Colorado by now.

PricksRus also has a special place in the hearts for Spawn, er, Shawn Kemp. Yes, folks, he took his nickname "ReignMan" literally. I don't want to get too filthy, but let's just say Mr. Kemp was always in a downpour...He's a great guy, he loves to spread his seed, and he likes to smoke grass. Shawn Kemp embodies everything PricksRus is about. This guy is rumored to have 7 Kids w/6 different women, but there are supposedly many more. I actually had to ask my mom the other day if Shawn Kemp was my dad!! If you didn't like Shawn Kemp, also known as "The Man-Child," then you must've had no fuckin friends growing up, and you probably leave your shirt on when you go swimming. Kemp would rock the fuckin rim in the Pacific Northwest with his thunderous and ultra-explosive displays of athleticism. He was an extremely fun player to watch, but I bet he's an even better person to hang out with. It's not his fault he's horny.

What would a Father's Day cookout be without Evander Holyfield? Shitty. This guy lights up the backyard when he struts through the gates. He always manages to make every sex session count, and I don't see how anyone would have an issue with that. Evander lives and dies by the simple code of "Go Hard, or Go Home." Holyfield is also big on going "Green," so he refuses to wear rubbers. I spoke with Evander this morning, and I asked him if he was maybe being too extreme in his efforts to preserve the environment, and he simply responded, "You must be friends with Tony Hayward. Fuck you!" That's when I heard the phone slam down on his end. I deserved to get hung up on, I don't know why I'd ever question this guy. Evander, if you're reading this, I'm sorry and Happy Father's Day!

The last guy I'd like to mention is so horny he makes Steve Phillips blush, and of course that would have to be none other than Mr. Tiger Woods. Although Tiger only has two young cubs, with his estranged loser wife Elin, he obviously makes this list for setting such an excellent example for his son at such a young age. Pornstar actress Devon James recently came out and claimed Tiger is the father of her 9-year old son, Austin. This is still just a rumor, and Tiger has yet to take a DNA test. If I'm Tiger, then I'm hoping Austin is mine. Woods gave Elin what she deserved, in my opinion. Let's call a spade a spade here, Elin was probably about as fun in between the sheets as it would be hanging out with that fuckin queer Adam Lambert. Tiger is a source of guidance to all of us, and if any of you think otherwise, then you probably have a fuckin Ryan Leaf Fathead on your fuckin ceiling. Happy Father's Day, Tiger!

Happy Father's Day!

Antonio Cromartie Theme Song: "Untitled (How Does It Feel?)" - D'Angelo

Travis Henry Theme Song: "Bump 'N Grind" - R. Kelly

Shawn Kemp Theme Song: "I Want To Rock With You" - Michael Jackson

Evander Holyfield Theme Song: "Gimme Some Loving" - Spencer Davis Group

Tiger Woods Theme Song: "Creep" - TLC