Early Season Hoops

Tonight the NC State Wolfpack take on Georgetown in an early season matchup of two tournament teams. The Wolfpack bring a highly touted freshman class and All-Prick First Team Frosh C.J. Leslie... Leslie is the kind of guy who gets a blow job at halftime from the coaches wife.  He scored 21 in his first college game ever and has been an impact player immediately for the Pack... The line is GTown by 6, but the moneyline is just so intriguing.   Take the 6 points, no need for greed.

I just can't decide... Okay, 2nd from the left.

Just Horrible

What a fucking dildo... The 49ers need to do all of us a favor and fire this joker mid-season.  Mike Singletary is the fucking loser du century, apologies to all who bet on them... It will not happen again.

Afternoon NFL Treat

Wow... Tommy Shots is 6-2-2 over the last two weekends... Not that anyone is counting.

Today's Prick:

San Francisco 49ers -3 vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers

You Look Great!  Now let Tommy Paint Your Face.

Tommy Shot's thinks the Niners are King for a Day.

I am even so confident on this one I will predict a score for you... Niners 27... Bucs 7.

Saturday Pricks (Afternoon/Evening) Edition

Let me start by saying the advice on betting should improve on this site with the departure of Pmac.  Now lets get started and make some coin.  Take a look at the little slut with Greg Oden in the Ohio State pic... Never mind that after this latest injury the most important question in Greg's life will be "Leaded or Unleaded?"

Stanford -6.5 @ Cal

Ole Miss +14.5 @ LSU

***Ohio State -3 @ Iowa***  BEST BET

San Diego State +2 vs Utah

Tommy Shots Pricks of Thursday

College Football

Washington (-2) vs UCLA

Washington has played some great football this season most notably a last second win against USC... UCLA seems to be on a downward spiral, I assume the Huskies knock off the Bruins in their quest for a bowl game and the coveted 3 extra weeks of practice that would provide.

Air Force (-19.5) @ UNLV

Air Force is decent, UNLV is not... With a 2-8 record it is fair to assume the Rebels have checked out for the season, won't happen to a service academy.  Go with the Falcons and enjoy your winnings.

BASKETBALL FREE MONEY

Maryland (+7) vs Pitt @ Madison Square Garden

The Big East turned into a complete fucking joke in the NCAA tournament last season... Why am I supposed to think anything has changed?  I see this as an upset game so consider the moneyline, but certainly within 7 points.

PMAC Leaves the Pricks

Bet the fucking house on the Miami Dolphins (pk) tonight against the Chicago Bears.  Tommy is coming off a 3-1-1 weekend and a huge bet on Louisville (NCAABB) the other night which was just free fucking money!!!  Goodbye to Pmac.

Morning Tush!

Good morning, Jenny Ciarleglio! Can you say smokeshow? If Jenny isn't one of the hottest fuckin broads you've ever laid eyes on, then you probably jerkoff to Cathouse on HBO! LOSER! Mi scuzzi, Ms. Ciarleglio, may I please have a fanny sandwich? I'll take the hash browns on the side, clit overeasy, and a small clam juice with some pulp! There's no question I would let Jenny sit on my face whenever she wanted. I don't give a fuck if she ate ten BK Breakfast Bowls, and sucked down three coffees, she can establish permanent fuckin residency right on my nose. I've never been more serious in my life.

Who Gives A Shit Moment Of The Week!

The UCONN basketball sluts have now won 80 games in a row following last night's victory over the #2 ranked Baylor Bitches. Big fuckin deal! Who gives a shit? Seriously? I don't understand how there is one person in the fuckin stands, it's embarrassing. I rather go to a fuckin Cranberries concert, and let my prick linger between my legs for a few fuckin hours! I don't give a fuck about the Lady Huskies! They are nothing but a bunch of female fuckin dogs! Brittney Griner? Her clit is probably bigger than my dick! What else am I supposed to say!?! I'm amazed at how many fuckin idiots show up to these events! It's like one big loser convention! I would rather be caught red-handed buying a fuckin Playgirl magazine, than ever show up at such a disgusting and repulsive scene! Get a life, jerkoffs! Nobody fuckin cares!!!!! Nobody cares!!!!! The UCONN women might as well play the fuckin Ladybugs every week! How about some fuckin competition! Enough already!

Halladay Wins NL CY Young!

PricksRus would like to extend our congratulations to Harry Leroy Halladay of the Philadelphia Phillies, for winning the 2010 NL CY Young. We don't fuck around like fuckin flamers here at PricksRus Headquarters, so we choose to give credit where credit is due. Doc Halladay is a fuckin prick on the mound, a prick in life, and a prick in bed with his wife. This Smirnoff Ice is for you, Roy!

NCAABB FREE MONEY

Louisville -1.5 tonight vs. Butler???   In Louisville?  Is that spread serious?  The fucking Globetrotters wouldn't win this fucking game.  Rick "I blow inside you in Applebee's bathroom then pay for an abortion to erase my greasy mistakes" Pitino will have the troops ready.  Vegas has clearly missed the boat on Butler... Losing Gordon Hayward will hurt more than they think early on in this season especially under the Ville's pressure.

Quote Of The Day...

"How do you justify a $78 million-dollar contract with this type of performance?" - Cincy Bengals WR Terrell Owens on his Twitter after last night's Eagles victory over Donovan "I'm All Flab" McNabb. You gotta love Owens continuing to take shots at his old teammate...

Loser Du Jour...

The Pittsburgh Steelers have cut Jeff "I Remember My First Michelob Ultra" Reed! Cya later, jerkoff! What do you expect when you blow field goals the way Bree Olson blows peckers? The Steelers have picked up ex-Redskins kicker, Shaun Suisham. Reed committed the cardinal sin of blaming his miscues on the piss-poor condition of Heinz Field, and took it even further when he blamed the Steelers fans for being too harsh. Newsflash, Jeff! The Steelers don't have time for kickers running their mouths, or making excuses. I'm shocked Reed would dare say a word when he's already on a short leash because of his affinity for the booze. Perhaps that's why he wasn't thinking straight at the press-conference? The New York Jets should cut Nick Fuck, and sign Jeff Reed, because that will be a lot of fun when he fucks up in the Big Apple. You think the Pittsburgh media is bad? Just wait, pal! I rather have Tony fuckin Meola kicking my field goals!

Say What?

"Vick doing so good, he got dogs cheering for him." - Arizona Cardinals defensive end - Darnell Dockett. This genius decided to post that on his Twitter during last night's blowout. Clearly the only thing smaller than Darnell's dick - is his brain!

Vick Abuses Redskins!

The Pig Pen must have been happy last night! We all know Donovan McNabb is fuckin thrilled! If I was a Redskins fan at Fedex Field yesterday evening, then I'd be puking non-fuckin-stop! I'd probably start rooting for the Baltimore Ravens, because I couldn't stand seeing fat #5 under center for the years to come. Hey, Donovan! Make like Eminem, and go fuckin lose yourself! Personally, I truly believe the Eagles are the best team in the NFL, but getting a 59-spot hung up on you at home is pretty disgusting. Philly was flying around the field on both sides of the ball last night, and Vick is playing like a surefire MVP candidate. The Redskins? I'm not so sure they could even beat Purdue right now! I'm still stunned at the news of McNabb's contract extension! Seriously, can we stop with the jokes? Can we please be fuckin serious for once!?! I've seen better games by Fisher-Fuckin-Price! What a waste of time!

Donovan "Thick & Chunky" McNabb Inks Extension!

This just in, the Washington Redskins have signed Donovan "Thick & Chunky" McNabb to a five-year $78 million contract extension, with $40 million guaranteed! Unbelievable! Imagine what this prick would've gotten if he was able to run the two-minute drill!?!?! Where the fuck did this come from! Shannahan benched this fuckin guy just two weeks ago, because he was an out-of-shape flamer! This is unbelievable, folks! I don't know what else to say, besides Daniel Snyder might be the worst owner of all time! McNabb has about as good a chance of living up to this extension, as I have banging a fuckin eskimo slut! That's right, pricks! I like my pussy the way I like my tv-dinners - FROZEN! Eat your pussy out, Redskins fans! Donovan is all yours!

Stop Crying!

Chiefs head coach, Todd Haley, needs to put his pacifier back in his fuckin mouth. This is the NFL, pal! Nobody gives a fuck about running up the score! This prick has a real set of ovaries to be whining to Broncos head coach, Josh McDaniels, about the score beginning to get out of hand. So what does Haley do? He refuses to shake McDaniels's hand following the game!!! Wow! What a fuckin baby! Hey, Todd! Little Stewie called, he wants his Huggies back!

Loser Du Jour...

The New York Giants should be absolutely fuckin ashamed of themselves, they ought to be fuckin embarrassed for their pathetic performance in yesterday's game versus the lowly Dallas Cowboys. The Big Blue defense failed to show up against Jon "The Cunt" Kitna, and instead made him look like Johnny fuckin Unitas! To make matters worse, the fuckin lights went out at the brand new stadium! You can't make this shit up, folks! The Giants looked like the biggest pussies on the planet yesterday, as they were completely unprepared for a rejuvenated Cowboys team, under new interim head coach, Jason Garrett. Dropping balls, costly turnovers, and brutal penalties made the Giants look like a bunch of cocksuckers out there! I rather sit on a fuckin cornucopia, than have to watch garbage like that ever again! You'll catch me front fuckin row at Megamind, before I give this team an ounce of fuckin respect! They are Giants, alright. GIANT FUCKIN LOSERS!

Morning Tush!

Monday mornings are for losers, but this gal is ready to fuckin go! Perhaps she skips breakfast everyday, and sticks a Starbucks Doubleshot up her tight twat instead! That will get things moving in the morning! Who needs an iced latte, when you can suck espresso directly outta the box? Box-O-Joe? How about Box-O-Clam!

See You In Atlanta!

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Pacquiao Vs. Margarito Tonight!

Manny Pacquiao takes on Antonio Margarito tonight, in what I expect to be a very entertaining bout. Pacquiao comes in weighing at 144.5 pounds, to Margarito's 150, but I just don't think the Tijuana Tornado will be able to get that close. It's Manny's world, and we're all just living in it. If I'm wrong, then I'll eat Pandora's box! Pacquiao is the pick!

Pricks of the Week

SDSU +27.5 @ TCU

Frogs had a huge week last week and we smell an upset... SDSU won't win of course but they are not a terrible football team and they will keep it within 4 TD's.

Stanford -4 @ Arizona State

In Tommy Shots' opinion Stanford is the hands down number 2 team in the country... Look out Sparky, big victory for the Cardinal in Tempe.

Penn State +19.5 @ Ohio State

The Nittany Lions are playing better and Ohio State is the most overrated team in the history of the world... Happy in Happy Valley?  Get baked first... That will make it happy.

Texas A&M -3 vs Baylor

Wait up ladies... I got a salami to hide.  These lovelies will be cheering on the Aggies in a fucking rout in College Station... Baylor has sucked since time and memorial so it won't be a problem.  Who ranked Baylor in the top 25?  What the fuck was that?  Pledge writers trying to make a feel good story in Waco. THIS IS THE BEST BET GUARANTEED MONEY!!!

Pricks of the Week

Take the Irish +5 and the rest will follow...

Fresh Saturday College Football LOX - 11/13/10!

Good morning on a gorgeous fuckin Saturday in the Tristate area, who's ready for a big fuckin day of College Football!?! I know I am! I'm not going to the spa today, I'm not getting a carwash, or pulling my fuckin prick to Audrey Bitoni all day long! I'm gonna post the fuck up, drill some Zimas, bake some brownies, and make some easy fuckin money!!! You know why? I want winners! That's right, folks, I'm guaranteeing a 6-0 record today! I swear on my fuckin prick that you will be a happy fuckin camper come later on tonight! My fresh Nova Scotia Lox are a very mediocre 21-25-2 on the year, but all that changes today! Go get your bagels, and throw 'em in the toaster! Grow some balls that are bigger than the capers on my LOX, and place your fuckin bets! Look, ma, no hands!!! It's time for some motherfuckin FRESH NOVA SCOTIA LOX!!!

Saturday 11/13/10 (Home team in CAPS):

RUTGERS (+2.5) Vs. Syracuse. Rutgers - La La La La La La LOCK IT UP!

Boston College (-3.5) @ DUKE. Boston College - La La La La La La LOCK IT UP!

Michigan (-13) @ PURDUE. Michigan - La La La La La La LOCK IT UP!

FLORIDA Vs. South Carolina (+6.5). South Carolina - La La La La La La LOCK IT UP!

Oregon (-19.5) @ CALIFORNIA. Oregon - La La La La La La LOCK IT UP!

USC @ ARIZONA (-4.5). Arizona - La La La La La La LOCK IT UP!

*America's Line

Cameron Newton Ineligible At Auburn?

Rumors are swirling on the Plains of eastern Alabama, that Heisman hopeful Cameron Newton is currently ineligible at Auburn. There have now been at least three different people who have come out and said that Cameron's father, Cecil, had solicited money for Newton to attend Mississippi State. This is unbelievable, folks, what the fuck is wrong with demanding some cash once in awhile? I thought this was America, people!?!?! In all honesty, this whole Cameron Newton saga has become about as cool as having a Henna tattoo on your prick!

PMAC's Cookbook!

Good afternoon, folks, and welcome to the first edition of PMAC's Cookbook! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip shut the fuck up and listen! Here's the Sandwich of the Week:

Portuguese Roll - BoarsHead Everroast Chicken W/Bacon, Lettuce, Muenster Cheese, Mayo, Salt & Pepper.

Sink your fuckin teeth into that Prickwich, and get back to me. I guarantee you'll be fuckin thrilled! Who knows though, maybe you're just one of those losers who has a bunch of Affliction t-shirts!?! I wather walk around with my prick in one of those mousetraps you used to see in the cartoons, than wear one of those fuckin shirts. You know what Lebron James has for lunch? DICK! Bon appetit!

WHY????

Why don't more girls dress up like Ke$ha for Halloween?  Why don't more girls dress up like Ke$ha on Tuesdays?  Why don't more girls dress up like Ke$ha on Fridays?  You get the message gals... This is what we like, this is why we practice, this is why we play... With your kitty.

Lucky LunchBox!

How about we mix it up, and have some bunnies for lunch! I'll pack my prick in a brown paper bag, and stick my straw right up these gal's juiceboxes! Bingo fuckin bango!!! I have a little sweet tooth today, so I'm in the mood for a real sloppy PBJ! I plan on lathering my prick in a thick and chunky JIF, and then I'll spread on some nice Welch's grape jelly to top it all off. The next step? I'll stick a piece of rye on each side of my shaft, and boom! PRICKWICH! Now that's what I call a hot lunch!

Say What?

"Oh, yeah, absolutely," Marshall said when asked if he was guaranteeing a playoff berth. "I don't know how many wins it's going to take," he spewed,"but we'll be there at the end. Any minute now we're going to put it all together." - Brandon Marshall, I'll bake what he's baking! Hey, Brando, how about you worry about catching some fuckin footballs, before you go running off at the mouth? You're delusional, pal! You're about as cool as a fuckin cumberbun!

Quote Of The Day...

"For myself, 44 minutes is too much," James declared. "I think Coach Spo knows that. Forty minutes for D-Wade is too much. We have to have as much energy as we can to finish games." - Miami Heat Loser, Lebron "Constant Fuckin Excuses, Plus I'm A Mammoth Cocksucker" James. If this guy doesn't dress head-to-toe in denim everyday, then I'm a nice guy! Is Lebron fuckin serious with this comment? He throws his coach under the bus faster than Keanu can get underneath to defuse the bomb! Forty-four minutes, and all I get is some cheap gold watch?! It's probably not even a fuckin Fossil! Keep your Casio, Lebron! I don't want that shit! Have another continental breakfast, you fuckin flamer! Keep making excuses, you no-good jerkoff, you! You must have a closet full of fuckin Bugle Boy! Get a life! The Heat are now 5-4! Their five wins? The Sixers, Nets (twice), T'Wolves, & Magic! AWFUL!!!!

Paul Pierce's response on Twitter? "I took my talents to South Beach, now it's on to Memphis!!!" Now that's what I'm fuckin talking about! Now you're talking to me, babyyyyy!! That I like!!! It's about time a helmet like Pierce said something worth fuckin talking about, now go back to watching Lifetime you fuckin loser!