Afternoon NFL Treat

Wow... Tommy Shots is 6-2-2 over the last two weekends... Not that anyone is counting.

Today's Prick:

San Francisco 49ers -3 vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers

You Look Great!  Now let Tommy Paint Your Face.

Tommy Shot's thinks the Niners are King for a Day.

I am even so confident on this one I will predict a score for you... Niners 27... Bucs 7.

Saturday Pricks (Afternoon/Evening) Edition

Let me start by saying the advice on betting should improve on this site with the departure of Pmac.  Now lets get started and make some coin.  Take a look at the little slut with Greg Oden in the Ohio State pic... Never mind that after this latest injury the most important question in Greg's life will be "Leaded or Unleaded?"

Stanford -6.5 @ Cal

Ole Miss +14.5 @ LSU

***Ohio State -3 @ Iowa***  BEST BET

San Diego State +2 vs Utah

Pricks of the Week

Take the Irish +5 and the rest will follow...

TOMMY SHOTS PRICKS OF THE WEEK

Greetings Jerkoffs,

After a rough one last week I plan on resurrecting your faith in Mr. Shots... I would like to remind all of the readers that I remain safely above .500 on the season.  Okay pledges, let's make some money and see some kitty.

Guaranteed Money:  Utah +5.5 vs TCU

Everyone knows what the initials for Salt Lake, Utah are, right?  SL-UT... SLUT???  How can a Prick not pick a Slut?  We will take the Utes, in the Slut and put your fucking hands up playing my song... It's a party in the SLC!!!

Oregon State -4.5 @ UCLA

Leave it to Beaver...  They are trim and tight and ready to fuck... UCLA up.

Missouri -4 @ Texas Tech

Ooooooh... Here kitty kitty kitty... Upset after that romp in Lincoln?  I think so... Tommy Tuberville is a fucking degenerate loser so lets take the Pussies and lay 4.

USC -5 vs Arizona State

HECTORRRRRR!!!  HECTORRRR!!!  I WANT TO FUCK YOUR SONG GIRLS!!!  ASU coming to Troy?  Good luck Sparky, back to Tempe and your harem of desert quim.  I want to be clear that the Pricks like the Trojans and hate condoms.

Arizona +8 @ Stanford

These girls go to Arizona and are somebody's daughter...  Oh well, they are already posing in underwear, may as well take them over to Lilly's and treat them like the whores that they are.  Let's go Wildcats!!!

***URGENT***

Bet the farm on the Broncos (+3.5) vs the NY Jagoffs.

Pricknesday

McConaughey as the actual Grand Marshall of the Marshall University Gay Parade.


Take UCF -6.5 and thank me later... We are not Marshall, we are the Pricks, and unlike Matthew McConaughey we like quim more than cock. I mean, look at the cans on fried rice there third from the left!!! I bet she love you long time, you and seven other dudes... SLUT!!!

Saturday Pricks of the Week

Okay, Tommy Shots wins and he wins everyday and every week. Here they are folks, stay hot... And more importantly stay horny. The prick is in bold.



UCLA @ Texas Line is Texas by 15.5. ************** BEST BET

We will take the improved Bruins and the 15.5 points. I assume Texas is looking ahead to the Red River Shootout with Oklahoma next week.

USC vs Washington State Line is USC by 22.5
Please, SC covers easily... Lane Kiffin pushed last week but still owes me lots of money. HUGE day for Matt Barkley.

Stanford @ Notre Dame Line is Stanford by 4.5

Jim Harbaugh probably sits around his hotel room and watches Hannah Montana... His team picks up on his weakness and the flaming faggots from Palo Alto stumble in South Bend.

California @ Arizona Line is Arizona by 6.

No let down, just Bear Down, I am a big believer in the AZ and I say Arizona wins this in a walk... Those WR's they have on the roster are just fucking NASTY!!! Not to mention Arizona leads the world in sluts per student on campus.

Oregon State @ Boise State Line is Boise by 18.5

Blue Fucking Turf!!! I still want to play on some blue turf, any willing ladies? I will buy the hair coloring.

The Prick is in bold... You think I don't have the stones to pick all road winners? You think I won't pick teams playing away from home? You think I give a shit? I am absolutely working college football right now like a Thai fucking hooker so shut your mouth and enjoy the free ride!!!

Hawaii @ Colorado(-14)
One time on vacation I slept with a really hot girl who lived in Hawaii and worked at my hotel... She thought I was her chance to get off the island, I wasn't. Warriors pull the upset in Boulder.

USC(-11) @ Minnesota
Lane Kiffin owes me roughly 1500$ and it would be appreciated if he starts paying back today. Teams with rodents for mascots only exist in the Little Ten and they all suck. Plus... Just look at these whores.


Air Force @ Oklahoma(-16.5)
Tommy Shots likes the triple option more than he likes slutty women.


Baylor @ TCU(-21)
TCU is the master of the "let down" vs. local opponents... I agree that Baylor would not win 3 games in most major conferences, but look for the Bears to put up a fight here vs those little Horned Babys.



Navy(-3) @ Louisiana Tech
Again, Tommy Shots likes the triple option more than loose women. BEST BET SURE MONEY TAKE THE MIDSHIPMEN... TOMMY SHOTS 17 STAR GUARANTEED LOCK!!!


Texas(-3.5) @ Texas Tech
Texas Tech leads the nation in STD's... No thanks, we will take the horns and those cute little spandex shorts the gals wear.


Notre Dame @ Michigan State(-3.5)
Catholics vs. Convicts... Coming off a tough loss to Michigan I think this trip is going to resemble the fucking crusades!!! Let's go IRISH!!!


Wake Forrest @ Stanford(-17.5)
Harbaugh is such a fucking dildo!!!

Thursday Prick

Wolfpack at home only -2? We will gladly take that... Look for NC State QB Russell Wilson to have a little ESPN Heisman contender coming out party... Similar to Travolta's coming out party last week.

Saturday Pricks (Afternoon/Evening) Edition

Greetings Loved Ones... Let's take a journey,



Colorado @ California(-9)

The first annual Liberal Bowl will feature two unproven teams and lot's of females with leg hair. I want Cal here and just assume their speed will be too much to handle for the lumbering Buffaloes.

FSU @ OU (-7)

Holy shit would I like a seat under the bleachers for this one... Lots of pricey pieces of trim wandering this fucking stadium... We will side with Boomer Sooner at home against that raging homo Christian Ponder. Stoops never wins big games, but it is always darkest before the dawn.

Michigan @ Notre Dame(-3)

I just love this picture... A recent Harvard study found that 99.3 percent of males at Michigan were homosexual. Now I know what they mean by "Michigan Men". Not that the girls are anything special, whatever, Michigan sucks and these girls agree with me.

Miami @ OSU(-8)

Miami and eight points? That is too good to be true... Like your girlfriend getting laser hair removal. We will take the Canes and the eight.

Oregon(-11) @ Tennessee

Oregon won 72-0 last week and I am a believer. The Vol's suck and the SEC has not distinguished themselves in non-conference this seaon. I will take that little ducky.

Penn State @ Alabama(-13.5)

Yea, Alabama... Crimson Tide... Every Bama man's behind you, hit your stride... Go teach the Bulldogs, to behave... Send the Yellow Jackets to a watery grave. Roll Fucking Tide. RFT!!!

BYU @ Air Force(-1.5)

Here it is... The 15-star combination lock of the fucking week. Air Force favored vs. the Cougars? You gotta be kidding this prick. This is a guarantee... Put the money on the game and fucking RELAX WITH TOMMY SHOTS!!!

SATURDAY MORNING PRICK-TOONS

In the early action my money is riding on South Carolina(-3), San Jose State(+39). Georgia Tech(-13), and Hawaii(+3). Fuck, shitty morning... Almost overslept... Just make the fucking bets and enjoy the picture. Somebody tell this broad she could catch a cold dressed that way!

Friday Night Prick

I want to dedicate one to this fine young thing from West Virgina... We will take the Mountaineers (-12.5).

Landing Strips... Take me home... To the place.... I belong.... Your Vagina, Mountain Mama, Take me home... Landing Strips..

TOMMY SHOTS PRICKS OF THE WEEK (SATURDAY EDITION)

Thursday Results: Shots went 2-1-1 on his regular picks, 1-0 on guaranteed money... Thank You to Minnesota and all of those who endure living in that god forsaken shithole.

Saturday:

Colorado vs Colorado State(+11.5) Take the over as well.(46)
Colorado State has a freshman QB named Pistol Pete who appears to be a real Prick. He left Arizona State after accepting a scholarship this spring to be a Ram and hasn't looked back despite Dennis Erickson demanding he sit for a season. Oh well, suck it Erickson... CSU keeps it within 11 and I think you got a little bit of a shootout here, both D's suck.

NOTRE DAME(-10) vs Purdue
The last ND coach that didn't cover in his first game... Dan Devine. Look for slot receiver Theo Riddick to absolutely tear the Boilermakers apart, prop bets anyone?

Washington(+2.5) @ BYU
Oregon State (+13.5) @ TCU
Take the Pac-10 package here. The Mountain West was downright impressive vs. Pac=10 teams in the bowls last season... That won't last, I see a little conference revenge in these two... We all know TCU QB Andy Dalton is a disgrace, and BYU has a true freshman starting in Jake Heaps...Maybe a little parlay? Could be fun.

San Jose State (+37.5) @ Alabama
The Tide will roll, but not by 37.5. San Jose is a decent WAC team and they will put up more of a fight than expected. I don't know why but I can see 45-21, this is a good bet.

THE TWELVE STAR TOMMY SHOTS GUARANTEED MONEY PRICK OF SATURDAY...

TEXAS(-31) vs Rice
Just put money on Texas, kick back, and relax.

Week One: Pricks of the Week Thursday Edition

Here they are folks... Place your bets, kick back, tear one down, and get ready for college football 2010. This is winning season for the Pricks and without further adieu I give to you the well thought and well researched Pricks of the Week.


South Carolina -13.5 vs Southern Miss
These girls love the Cocks! Well that means they love the Pricks! And we love you too!


Utah -3 vs Pitt
Can't touch this one, but you are a bad girl... Salt Lake City is going to be rocking tonight and the Utes offense will be no different, I suggest grabbing a little bit on the 48.5 over as well... Just bet it and sing along with Tommy Shots.

So I put my hands up
They're playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin' my head like yeah
Moving my hips like yeah,
And I got my hands up,
They're playin my song
I know I'm gonna be ok
Yeahhhhhhhhhhh, It's a party in the S-L-C
Yeahhhhhhhhhhh, It's a party in the S-L-C


USC -20.5 @ Hawaii
Nobody likes condoms, but all Pricks love the Trojans. Again, all Prickfollowers are invited to this 50 point Luau in Honolulu.

And best of all... The first WEEKLY Pricksrus Guaranteed Safe No Worries Best Bet of the Week... Minnesota Golden Gophers is a pick'em vs Middle Tennessee State, take the Gophers, hate the Big Ten if you lose.