Say What?

"Vick doing so good, he got dogs cheering for him." - Arizona Cardinals defensive end - Darnell Dockett. This genius decided to post that on his Twitter during last night's blowout. Clearly the only thing smaller than Darnell's dick - is his brain!

Vick Abuses Redskins!

The Pig Pen must have been happy last night! We all know Donovan McNabb is fuckin thrilled! If I was a Redskins fan at Fedex Field yesterday evening, then I'd be puking non-fuckin-stop! I'd probably start rooting for the Baltimore Ravens, because I couldn't stand seeing fat #5 under center for the years to come. Hey, Donovan! Make like Eminem, and go fuckin lose yourself! Personally, I truly believe the Eagles are the best team in the NFL, but getting a 59-spot hung up on you at home is pretty disgusting. Philly was flying around the field on both sides of the ball last night, and Vick is playing like a surefire MVP candidate. The Redskins? I'm not so sure they could even beat Purdue right now! I'm still stunned at the news of McNabb's contract extension! Seriously, can we stop with the jokes? Can we please be fuckin serious for once!?! I've seen better games by Fisher-Fuckin-Price! What a waste of time!

Donovan "Thick & Chunky" McNabb Inks Extension!

This just in, the Washington Redskins have signed Donovan "Thick & Chunky" McNabb to a five-year $78 million contract extension, with $40 million guaranteed! Unbelievable! Imagine what this prick would've gotten if he was able to run the two-minute drill!?!?! Where the fuck did this come from! Shannahan benched this fuckin guy just two weeks ago, because he was an out-of-shape flamer! This is unbelievable, folks! I don't know what else to say, besides Daniel Snyder might be the worst owner of all time! McNabb has about as good a chance of living up to this extension, as I have banging a fuckin eskimo slut! That's right, pricks! I like my pussy the way I like my tv-dinners - FROZEN! Eat your pussy out, Redskins fans! Donovan is all yours!

Stop Crying!

Chiefs head coach, Todd Haley, needs to put his pacifier back in his fuckin mouth. This is the NFL, pal! Nobody gives a fuck about running up the score! This prick has a real set of ovaries to be whining to Broncos head coach, Josh McDaniels, about the score beginning to get out of hand. So what does Haley do? He refuses to shake McDaniels's hand following the game!!! Wow! What a fuckin baby! Hey, Todd! Little Stewie called, he wants his Huggies back!

Say What?

"Oh, yeah, absolutely," Marshall said when asked if he was guaranteeing a playoff berth. "I don't know how many wins it's going to take," he spewed,"but we'll be there at the end. Any minute now we're going to put it all together." - Brandon Marshall, I'll bake what he's baking! Hey, Brando, how about you worry about catching some fuckin footballs, before you go running off at the mouth? You're delusional, pal! You're about as cool as a fuckin cumberbun!

AFC Vs. NFC Hogwash!!!

Good morning on a Football Fuckin Friday! Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is PRICKKKKKK! Can we please stop jizzing in our pants, and stop sucking the AFC's dick now? Please?! How about the injury-plagued Packers beating the Jets 9-0 in the Meadowlands two weeks ago? Or how about the Lions taking the Jets to overtime last week? What about the Saints beating the Steelers in N'ola? How about the Falcons beating the Ravens last night? What about the Browns beating the fuckin piss outta the Pats, and the Pats are supposed to be elite? How about the Eagles beating the Colts? Can we please just take a fuckin step back, and for once, for FUCKING ONCE, not fall into the trap of fucking anointing teams halfway through the fuckin season? 'We're the best team in the NFL right now, I'm 5-3 where's my respect, I got the #1 Defense'....Guess what? NOBODY FUCKIN CARES!!!!!!!!!! Please! In the words of the great Samuel L. Jackson, enough is fucking enough!!! There is NOT ONE SINGLE FUCKING TEAM IN THE NFL that stands out. NOT ONE!!! Suck my fuckin cock, Stuart Scott!!! SUCK IT!!! PLEASE SUCK MY FUCKING DICK!!!!!!!!! GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!! NO TEAM IS THAT FUCKING GOOD! The Ravens had to beat the Bills in OVERTIME, IN BALTIMORE!!!!! The Browns wiped the floor with the SAINTS in N'OLA!!!! So please! Enough with the fucking conference bullshit! I'm tired of it! J-E-T-S! SUCK - SUCK - SUCK!!!!!!! I woke up on the wrong side of the fuckin couch this morning! Let me tell you, baby!!!! I need a spanking on my little white fanny! I'm a bad boyyyyyyy!!! You don't bring me home to mom and dad, baby! I'll stick my prick in the tuna casserole!

Thursday Night NFL Juice!

The 2010 NFL Thursday night schedule debuts tonight on the NFL Network, as the 6-2 Atlanta Falcons host Joe Fucko, and the 6-2 Baltimore Ravens! Falcons quarterback, Matt Ryan, is 17-1 lifetime at the Georgia Dome, so this game has all the makings of an instant fuckin classic! A real slobberknocker! A dogfight! A cockfight! A royal fuckin rumble! It doesn't make any difference to me what the fuck you want to call it! I'm not your fuckin parent! I don't tell you what to do, I simply try to lead by example. Perhaps that's why I was screaming, 'I'll fuckin kill you!' when some prick cut me off on the road the other day! I'm a loose cannon! If I was pussy, then I'd be as wide as the Hudson fuckin River! Look, pricks! I have multiple clits! I'm that fuckin loose! I fly off the handle faster than you can say fuck! Nothing gets my beanbag flowing like some Thursday night football!

NFL Cheerleader Of The Week!

This Houston Texans cheerleader is an absolute fuckin smokeshow, I give her a ten! I'll also give her a nice Jimmy Dean to sit on for a good twelve minutes or so! I have a nice pork loin in my pants, that I'm dieing to show you, baby! Garnish it with that landing strip above your clit!

Wade Phillips Fired!

Jerry "JackOff" Jones and the Dallas Cowboys have put the kibosh on Wade "Fatso" Phillips! This should come as no fuckin surprise to anyone who knows how to spell the word football. Phillips is a born loser, a real fuckin Roy Munson if you will. Enter Jason "The Geek" Garrett, who will be taking over as the interim head coach. Nice guys finish last, Wade. Pricks finish first...

NFL Sunday Masterlock!

Take the Colts (+3) today in Philly. If I'm wrong, then I'll fuckin stick my prick in a lit candle! Ouch!

Titans Claim Randy Moss!

Randy better like some southern cooking, because this prick is heading to Nashville,TN! The Tennessee Titans have claimed the future Hall of Fame wide receiver with the 22nd waiver claim in the league. Spread 'em, Miley Cyrus! Randy is coming to town!

Jamarcus "Fatso" Russel Works Out With Redskins!

So let me get this straight, Mike Shannahan thinks Jamarcus Russel is in better physical condition than Donovan "Thick & Chunky" McNabb? The Redskins worked out the fat codeine-sipper yesterday to see if he has any "Purple Drank" left in the tank. What does this say about Donovan McNabb? Could there be a bigger loser in the NFL? I guess Andy Reid knew what he was doing when he dumped this fuckin tool. Shannahan has no ties to Donovan, and he thinks Campbell's Soup sucks dick, so this comes as no surprise to PricksRus. When you get benched for the likes of Rex "I'm Such A" Grossman, then you might as well have a fuckin slumber party with Joey Fatone, and call it a night. Ask Jamarcus for some codeine-syrup, you'll sleep better!

Randy Moss: This Food Sucks!

You won't catch Randy Moss eating at the St. Paul Restaurant anytime soon. Each Friday, the Vikings invite a local eating establishment to cater their post-practice meal, but Mr. Moss wasn't having it this time around. Apparently the Viking's were all eating, and Randy shouted,"What the fuck? Who ordered this crap? I wouldn't feed this to my dog!" Later on at his locker, Moss was overheard chirping, "I used to have to eat that crap, but now I've got money!" Bravo, Randy! Let those loser-chefs know who's boss! Chicken, pasta, and ribs? How about some fuckin steak, lobster, and oysters instead?!?! Where the fuck are we, Sizzler!?!?! How about some pussy!?! I like my girls the way I like my olive oil - EXTRA VIRGIN! It doesn't take Inspector Fuckin Gadget to know that Randy is a picky eater! What does it take to get a fuckin napkin around here!?!?! I rather suck off the dog at least his licks his balls once in awhile!

NFL Cheerleader Of The Week!

The Dolphins have lost some tough home games this year, but their cheerleaders continue to impress. This gal has a nice set of pom-poms, huh? Between her thighs lies a dish, and it smells like fuckin FISH! Perhaps that's why the new nickname for my prick is Long John Silver! I'll reel this gal in right by the clit! Catch of the day!

Wreckless Driving - Revis!

Jets CB, Darrelle Revis, was pulled over early this morning for wreckless driving. They have yet to report if alcohol was involved. Stay tuned, pricks! This is how you start off another Football Fuckin Friday!!!!

Guess Who's Back!!!

Big Creep is back in business this Sunday! That's right, folks! Big Bad Ben will be returning to the NFL, as he makes his 2010 season-debut versus the putrid Cleveland Browns at Heinz Field. Has he learned his lesson? I don't know, does Cindy Crawford have a dick? Is today fuckin Monday? You do the fuckin math, guys! I can't hold everybody's hand all the time! I left my fuckin cape at the dry cleaners!!! I'm predicting a 300-yard plus day for this fuckin white-trash creep! Let's not forget that Ben threw for 4,328 yards last season, which ranked him 5th in the NFL (26 TD's to 12 INT's = 100.5 QB Rating).

Lights Off!

Turn out the lights, because the faggot-party is over!!! The San Diego Chargers plan on cutting ties with Shawne "Shriveled Steroid Weeny" Merriman once he is eligible to come off IR. What else do you expect from a loser who was in love with a piece of trash like Tila "Twisted Twat" Tequila? If Merriman is searching for a loser, then all he needs to do is look in the fuckin mirror, and take the tampon out of his ass, because he's the fuckin mayor of Tool City, USA! Merriman had 39.5 sacks in his first three seasons, as he broke into the league in 2004. Do you know how many sacks Merriman has since 2007? Four! Have another vodka-cranberry, Shawne! Nobody likes you!!!

Say What?

San Francisco 49'ers owner, Jed York, has predicted his 0-5 fudgepacking team will not only make the NFL Postseason, but they will win the NFC West as well! Hey, Jed, go play in traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge. Shut your fuckin mouth, or else I'll serve you up a nice knuckle sandwich on some moldy rye. When you're 0-5, you keep your fuckin thoughts to yourself. No team with Mike Singletary as the Head Coach is going anywhere. FACT!

NFL Cheerleaders Of The Week!

These girls must work for Southwest Airlines, because those bags better be flying fuckin free!!! Don't make me call the fuckin Bag Cops! I think my sausage would get lost in between these two sets of tits! And I'm a titty guy to begin with! I love fuckin tits! For the birthday girl you gotta have the fattest fuckin tits in the room! I like nipples like the size of your kneecaps!!!! Somebody send me to FEDEX Field, I'm horny on a Saturday morning! What else is fuckin new!!!

Breaking News! Favre Crotch Shots!!!

PricksRus favorite, Jenn Sterger, is set to release X-Rated pics and voicemails from Brett "Old Diva" Favre today! America will need a giant fuckin microscope to see this loser's Jimmy Dean!