Morning Tush!

Good morning, Jenny Ciarleglio! Can you say smokeshow? If Jenny isn't one of the hottest fuckin broads you've ever laid eyes on, then you probably jerkoff to Cathouse on HBO! LOSER! Mi scuzzi, Ms. Ciarleglio, may I please have a fanny sandwich? I'll take the hash browns on the side, clit overeasy, and a small clam juice with some pulp! There's no question I would let Jenny sit on my face whenever she wanted. I don't give a fuck if she ate ten BK Breakfast Bowls, and sucked down three coffees, she can establish permanent fuckin residency right on my nose. I've never been more serious in my life.

Morning Tush!

Monday mornings are for losers, but this gal is ready to fuckin go! Perhaps she skips breakfast everyday, and sticks a Starbucks Doubleshot up her tight twat instead! That will get things moving in the morning! Who needs an iced latte, when you can suck espresso directly outta the box? Box-O-Joe? How about Box-O-Clam!

Morning Tush!

Greetings from Las Vegas, says the curvy Sarah Alize. What's better than taking a bath in flower petals when you wake up in the morning? Don't be shocked if Sarah has petals stuck in her pussy, because that's what usually happens when you bathe in them. I'd like to eat hot oatmeal out of Sarah's tush with my hands tied behind my back, while balancing myself on my kickstand of a prick! I'd be like a human top! No spoon either, just my tongue! Sprinkle some cinnamon on that fanny! Delicious!

Morning Tush!

Crystal Harris!?! Leggo my pricko! This hot blonde is a Playboy Playmate, and she likes to ride Hugh Hefner's cock all day long. You guessed it, she's his current girlfriend! The luck on this fuckin guy! Speaking of riding, I wish Crystal was the jockey, and my fuckin face was the saddle! Giddy up!

Morning Tush!

Spread those legs, baby! Good morning to Sarah Longbottom, a gorgeous model from Playboy UK. Something tells me Sarah's snatch tastes similar to a nice smoked-salmon eggs benedict, with the twat-flavored hollandaise on the side! I don't like my morning tush swimming! I compare it to filet of sole almondine, I don't want my fuckin fish swimming in nuts! I got your almond joy right here, Sarah! Suck this!

Morning Tush!

Whattya hear? Whattya say?! Who's more horny than PMAC on a motherfuckin Tuesday!?! Top of the fuckin morning to the sexy and sultry Holly Peers. What doesn't this girl bring to the breakfast table? I'd lather up her clam with my saliva in front of everybody at the local fuckin diner! I don't give a fuck! Come on, Holly, lemme finger with you my penis!

Morning Tush!

Somebody must've slipped a fuckin Viagra in my Sanka, because my sausage is about as hard as it gets right now. Mayra Veronica is Reggie Bush's current girlfriend, and she has quite the rump. I don't think you have to worry about Mayra having pussy egg-beaters for breakfast either. This angel probably orders three eggs overeasy, crisp bacon, and rye toast a little bit on the darker side. Sausage? You bet your fuckin rear-end this bitch likes a good piece of meat between her buns! Sit on it, Mayra! Good morning on a Football Friday!

Morning Tush!

Shall we meet Capri Anderson? This hot piece of tush was Charlie Sheen's date at the Plaza Hotel this week in NYC. The 22-year-old 'actress,' and I use that term loosely (no pun intended), locked herself in the bathroom nude when Sheen flew off the handle. I don't know about you pricks, but I also get pretty fuckin pissed when I can't find my wallet and phone! Sheen - the highest paid actor on tv - knows how to have a good time on a first date! Why take a girl to a Yankees game or out for sushi, when you can take her to the Eloise Suite at the Plaza for some fun and games?

Morning Tush!

We all know who this sexy fuckin gal is, right? Good morning to one of my all-time favorites, the gorgeous Denise Richards. I'd probably give Denise a colonoscopy with my fuckin tongue! I'd walk around with a fuckin iRenew around my prick, if it meant I had a shot with Denise! This gal is as hot as it gets...

Morning Tush!

April Summers is from the UK, but she's made the move to Paris to join Playboy France. Yes, folks, that makes her a French Playmate, and she's about as horny as they come. It's another Monday Morning Loserback at the office, so get ready for a lot of filth, and plenty of second-guessing. Get your head out of Tony the Tiger's ass, and stick it up April's!

Morning Tush!

Layla Kayleigh can suck on my hose while her tush is on my nose!

Morning Tush!

Well hello there, Kimbyr Leigha! Is that a 5-Hour Energy in your snatch, or are you just happy to see me? How about I perform CPR on your clam, and call it a day!

Morning Tush!

Meet Jennifer Walcott, a gorgeous model, and the wife of NFL safety Adam Archuleta. This gal has a Belgian waffle between her legs, and it's loaded with all the trimmings. Fresh strawberries and blueberries, with homemade whip cream, and syrup sucked right out of the trunk of my tree. Ms. Walcott knows her way around the kitchen, and that's important in my pop-up book. She's the kinda broad who shits out roses, and queefs out clams casino! You can't go wrong!!!

Morning Tush!

Rosa Acosta is a music-video vixen, and an absolute star on Telemundo. Do you know what else she does? She squeezes fresh orange juice right out of her twat, and makes the best smoothie you'll ever fuckin taste. I'm not kidding, these smoothies make my fuckin dick hard for at least four fuckin hours straight. If you don't believe me, then you can call my fuckin physician, because I'm running up quite the tab at the local medical center. Just look at that caboose! Call me the fuckin conductor, Rosa!!! I'm horny on a Monday morning in the office!!! I might fill the water cooler up with a few gallons of jizz! Who wants to talk football!?!?! I'd go down on Rosa so fuckin long you would think I'm taking fuckin scuba lessons!

Morning Tush!

Say good morning to Tehmeena Afzal, you fuckin pricks! You may recognize this busty brunette from The Dream, G-Unit, and 50-Cent music videos, but I recognize her because I'm her fuckin gynecologist! Yes, folks, they don't call me the Pussy Doctor for nothing! I'll treat their clit, while they blow my prick!

Morning Tush!

Shay Maria says leave the gun, and take the cannolis. How about I stick my cannoli between those fuckin funbags, and have a fuckin field-day! Who plays egg-toss, when we can play titty-toss?!?!?! Shay Maria can be found in the new Jason Derulo video, "The Sky's The Limit." Now, I don't even know what fuckin channel MTV is, so I'm not big into the music-video circuit these days, but Shay is right up my fuckin alley. I'd lick Shay's rump as if it were a fuckin snowcone, you know why? I'm a man! I'm horny!!! I'm not a kid!!! Do I sleep on the couch instead of a fuckin bed? Sure I do, but that doesn't change the fact that you can set a fuckin clock to when my kickstand shoots through my skort! Enough is enough!!! I guarantee Shay's clam is loaded with pearls, and smells like fresh garlic. Mmmmm Mmmmmmm goood!!!!!

Morning Tush!

Good morning to Ana de la Reguera! Ana is the hot new actress on HBO's "Eastbound & Down," and if you watched last night's episode, then you know what I'm talking about. Ana's rear end rivals that of Ines Sainz and Vida Guerra. What a fucking fanny!!! Wake up and smell the tush, baby! Goodness gracious! You know Ana isn't afraid to go under the table!!! She sneaky looks like Penelope Cruz, right? Bigger tush though...

Morning Tush!

Good morning to Anabel Dela Cerna! Throw that clit on the griddle, baby!!! It's time to eat! I'll take a tall glass of Vitamin D straight from your tits, honey!!! I need a cortisone shot in my fuckin prick after this breakfast! Let's get it going on a fuckin Thursday! Sit on my dick, and grind on my face! This fuckin prick needs a taste!

Morning Tush!

Jessica Alba is a hot box of rocks, and all she wants for breakfast is my cock! Woahhhhh!?! I guess I'm a little too juiced up this morning! Or maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the fuckin loveseat! Do you know the muffin man? The muffin man? The muffin man? I'll spread my butter on Alba's fuckin muffin, I'll tell you that much! Delicious!

Morning Tush!

Good morning to Brittney "BlowJob" Palmer! This broad has it all, folks! Her twat has the scent of fresh petunias, and her fanny is softer than my prick after watching a porno starring Wanda fuckin Sykes!