PricksRus

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Schmuck of the Century

Jim Hendry, General Manager of the Chicago Cubs.

My hatred for this waste of human life is well documented on this blog, but today is just special. Why is Hendry still employed by the Cubs? It is baffling and everyday he spends at Wrigley he seems dedicated to destroying the future of the franchise. Tyler Colvin is NOT a fucking prospect, he is just a regular guy who can bat .260 and hit 20 HR's very similar to Todd Hollandsworth. A prospect is some Dominican kid living in the slums of Santo Domingo who can miraculously throw the ball 101MPH... When you call someone a "prospect" you are implying there is something that will be special or unique about them in the future, the Cubs don't have any of those guys in the organization. Fuck Jim Hendry, and fuck Mike Quade, and fuck Tom Ricketts, and fuck Crane Kenney, and fuck any of the other cocksuckers making decisions on Addison. The Cubs will "accept bogey" next season and win between 70 and 75 games with a payroll of 145 million dollars... The Pricksrus editorial staff would do a better job, and that would be a Nova Scotia Lox bet of the fucking week.

Cubs Hire Quade!

The Chicago Cubs are rumored to have hired Mike Quade! This is about as exciting as being at Jaguars-Titans last night! Hey, Mike! Nice eyebrows! Your teeth are so yellow they make the fuckin sun jealous!

Hey, Burnett! SIT!

Why the Yankees are starting A.J. Burnett tonight is beyond me. This fuckin creep hasn't pitched since October 2nd, and he went 10-15 on the year with a period-bloated 5.26ERA. It's like he hasn't been off the rag since mid-May! The Yankees are 7-7 in the seven 7-Game ALCS's they've played in which they have either led or trailed 2-1. The feeling in my prick tells me they will be 7-8, because Burnett has the zactly's. This means Burnett's breath smells exactly like my fuckin asshole! Girardi must SIT Burnett! Make him ride the fuckin pine! I don't give a fuckin fuck! I'm the kinda prick who would bench fuckin Santa Claus on Christmas Eve! Enough is enough already!!!

Loser Du Jour...

The New York Yankees deserve more than the Loser Du Jour, they deserve to have their dicks chopped off, because they are playing like a bunch of fuckin pussies! The leader of the faggot brigade? His name is Mark "I Have A Disgustingly-Ugly Wife" Teixeira! Teixeira is 0-10 in the ALCS, and he couldn't be any fuckin softer. He makes the Pillsbury Doughboy blush, he makes Gabourey Sidibe's tummy feel like a piece of fuckin granite! How about a hit, Mark?!?! Just one fucking hit! PLEASE! PRETTY FUCKING PLEASE WITH A PUSSY-CHERRY ON TOP!!!! Goodness fuckin gracious! What the fuck is going on out there?!?! The performance at the plate for this team is sickening! I have to walk around town with a fuckin vomit bag! I threw up all over the register at Dunkin fuckin Donuts this morning!! America runs on Dunkin, huh? How about America runs on my fuckin prick! I piss pumpkin lattes in my sleep! Just check my fuckin sheets, Teixeira! They used to be white! Don't get mad at me, fucko! I'm not the one who married a grenade who wears provolone perfume on her pussy! Get a fuckin hit, cocksucker! This series is fuckin over! The way the Yankees got on their fuckin knees for Cliff Lee last night, you'd think their hitting coach was Audrey Bitoni! Gimme a fuckin break already! The Yankees are 1-20 in the ALCS with runners in scoring position, stay hot!

Morning Tush!

Meet Jennifer Walcott, a gorgeous model, and the wife of NFL safety Adam Archuleta. This gal has a Belgian waffle between her legs, and it's loaded with all the trimmings. Fresh strawberries and blueberries, with homemade whip cream, and syrup sucked right out of the trunk of my tree. Ms. Walcott knows her way around the kitchen, and that's important in my pop-up book. She's the kinda broad who shits out roses, and queefs out clams casino! You can't go wrong!!!