Little Drummer Boy

I really don't know what to think of this... I am kinda impressed by the first video, the second makes me think too much. I guess this is why you don't ever get your kids drums for Christmas. If my kid asks for a drum set, he is getting a baseball glove, end of story.

Nenad Krstic Flips Out!

Hey, Nenad! Is that seat taken? Oklahoma City Thunder center, Nenad Krstic, flew off the fuckin handle over in Athens, Greece yesterday during a basketball game between his native Serbia and Greece. The Acropolis Tournament turned into an absolute melee! Nenad couldn't take the drama so he picked up a chair and hurled it at everybody! What a maniac! The only other time Krstic ever gets that mad is when "Nanny McPhee" is soldout! Haven't you heard of Fandango you fuckin loser?!?!?! Krstic has since been released from custody, and is roaming the streets of Europe doing his best Bobby Knight impression if someone does so much as dare look at him crosseyed! He doesn't give a fuckin fuck! Unbelievable! Hey, I'm just the messenger, folks, but what do I know, right? I'm the same guy who bartered his skateboard straight up for a porno on VHS when I was 12 years old! What a deal!

Lucky LunchBox!

Ali Landry is hungry this afternoon, and prick is on the menu! Prick Bolognese! Ali loves a good meatsauce, there's no doubt about it! This broad is absolutely luscious, and I bet her twat has an excellent aroma to it. Dollars to donuts, it wreaks of hydrangeas, and looks more pristine than the fairways at Augusta. Come and get it...

Blount Will Smoke You!

LeGarrette Blount is at it again! The ex-Oregon Duck, and current Tennessee Titans runningback punched one of his teammates in the facemask at practice the other day. This is nothing new for the volatile Blount, but it's still no reason to frown upon him either. Titans head coach, Jeff Fisher, dismissed the incident, and claimed this type of shit happens all the time. I agree with him, and there's no doubt in my mind the media is making a big deal out of this because of LeGarrette's brilliant haymaker last year at the end of the Boise State game. I would let LeGarrette babysit my kids, and I truly mean that from the bottom of my beanbag. Hey, LeGarrette, have a Zima on me! Smoke 'em if you got 'em, babyyyyyyy!!!!

Loser Du Jour...

Today was easy, folks, the award goes to Roger "Shriveled Rocket" Clemens! The portly righty lied to Congress, and in this country, that's against the law. This should not come as a surprise to anyone. Did Roger care? Of course not, why the fuck would he? He's Roger fuckin Clemens!!! He thought he was invincible, but now he's about to find out the hard way what happens to scumbags when you party in the USA illegally! All the Rocket did was hurl a pack of lies! Who took the fuckin jam out of your donut, Roger? Was it Mindy Mccready!?!? Why plow her, when you can get nose-deep in Debbie's derriere! Mccready is a loser! I think I've had a better country music career than that tramp! Roger should have admitted from the get-go that he was a prominent steroid-abuser, and now he's going to pay the price for it, as he faces up to 30 years in prison if convicted. The Rocket makes Fletcher Reede blush!!! His nose is bigger than Pinocchio's prick! And that shrimp has a fuckin tripod!

IT'S FRI-DRE

As we all know Snoop and Dre are some of the greatest rappers of all time for one big reason... They have never lost a gun fight. Tupac? Lost a gunfight. Biggie? Lost a gunfight. Big Pun? Lost an obesity fight with candy bars. The chick in TLC? Lost a fight with a tree while driving a car. Dre and Snoop? They are probably like 250-0 career in gun fights... If street cred is the defining factor for a rapper and the measuring units are quim and proficiency with firearms? Well then these guys are like the Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar of the hip hop world.

Make sure to check out the office dialogue below before playing the video.




Here is a little Friday inspiration for all of the readers out there. Today I am going to give some great workplace advice to all of the loyal readers out there. Here is the first of many Fri-Dre posts where I am going to show you how to add a little "gangster fun" into your group of friends in the office. Please play the video and appreciate how with an enthusiastic delivery of the dialogue in all of the situations can be fun and beneficial to any professional relationship... Enjoy you little Pricks!



Coworker: Why are you late Prick Reader?

Prick Reader: I told you I'm just like a clock when I tick and I tock
But I'm never off, always on, to the break of dawn
C-O-M-P-T-O-N, and the city they call Long Beach
Puttin' the shit together
Like my nigga D.O.C., "No One Can Do It Better"


Coworker: Okay Prick Reader, would you like to start the presentation or should I?

Prick Reader: Gimme the microphone first, so I can bust like a bubble

After you are done and need to introduce your coworker:

Prick Reader: Dre, creep to the mic like a phantom.


Coworker: Hey Prick Reader, how are things with the girlfriend?

Prick Reader: From a young G's perspective
And before me dig out a bitch I have ta' find a contraceptive
You never know she could be earnin' her man
and learnin' her man - and at the same time burnin' her man
Now you know I ain't with that shit, Lieutenant
Ain't no pussy good enough to get burnt while I'm up in it.


Coworker: (at an office birthday) Would you like some cake Prick Reader?

Prick Reader: Well if it's good enough to get broke off a proper chunk
I'll take a small piece of some of that funky stuff.

Coworker: (after you came around a corner and scared her by nearly running her over) Whoa Prick Reader, you scared me.

Prick Reader: Well I'm peepin', and I'm creepin', and I'm creep-in
But I damn near got caught, 'cause my beeper kept beepin'.


Coworker: Prick Reader, did you really get that sale?

Prick Reader: (Yeah) And that's realer than Real-Deal Holyfield


Coworker:(bathroom) Wow Prick Reader, you really had to go...

Prick Reader:You know, and I know, I flow some ol' funky shit.


Coworker: Nice job Mr. Prick Reader, way to go! How'd you do it?

Prick Reader: Ain't nuthin' but a "G" thang, baaaaabay!
Two loc'ed out niggas so we're craaaaazay!
Death Row is the label that paaaaays me!
Unfadeable, so please don't try to fade this.

This Bull Is Full Of Shit!

What are these crazy Spaniards thinking?!?!?! This bull went fuckin bonkers in Taffala, Spain, and jumped right into the crowd, causing quite the stir! When will they fuckin learn this whole idea is absolutley fuckin ridiculous? I rather have fuckin breakfast at Red Fuckin Lobster for the rest of my life, than attend one of these jerkoff events. The reports are stating that 32 people were injured in this mess, ugh, ewww, what a typical disgusting display! If some prick asked me to go to a bullfight, I'd tell him to get fuckin lost, and go fuck himself! Simple as that! This isn't rocket science, folks! It doesn't take Doogie Fuckin Howser to know that hanging around a raging fuckin bull might not be the brightest idea in the fuckin world, you know what I mean? Were these people born yesterday or something? Geez, louis, you can't make it up! It's got me at sixes and sevens! I feel like fuckin Samuel L. Jackson in "Snakes On A Plane!" Enough is enough with the motherfuckin' bullfighting! Drop your nuts, and say no to this fuckin hogwash! I rather bury my face in Rosie O'Donnel's cherrystone, than be caught dead at such an event! Now, do me a favor, and SIT! Keep this bus above 50, or it'll fuckin explode!