PAC 10 TITLE GAME IN VEGAS?

The Pac-10 Conference announced today they are considering Las Vegas for their title game following the addition of Utah and Colorado. This is a great fucking idea. Rick Neuheisel? Dennis Erickson? Lane Kiffin? The Oregon players who have been arrested an amazing 19 times since the end of the 2009 season? Pac-10 football is a perfect fit for Las Vegas... This Prick would be in attendance I can tell you that much... Viva Las Vegas!!! Viva USC songsluts dressed like showgirls!!!

Dantonio's Best Call

Mark Dantonio's best call Saturday was to 911 after he suffered a heart attack late Saturday night... I guess the call to fake the FG in overtime was a good one too, especially if you root for MSU. And we all know that MSU fans are dirty, stinking, pieces of fucking trash from Detroit, right? And everybody hates MSU, right? And we all know that MSU is just Michigan's little brother, right? Okay, good. Feel better Mark.

Tony Was My Guy!!!

Georgia star WR, A.J. Greene, has been suspended by the NCAA for the next three games for selling his game-worn jersey from last years Independence Bowl!?! What a load of fuckin hogwash this is! If I was A.J. Green, then I'd have a line out my fuckin dorm-room door selling autographs for $30 a pop! I don't give a shit! I'll sell the fuckin students lung darts if I have to! It doesn't make any difference to me! Tony was my guy!!! How do you think Mel Kiper Jr. is coping with this? That freak had A.J. Green number #4 on his "Big Board!" Here's an idea, someone tell Kiper to stop acting like George Young, and GO TO FUCKIN BED!!!! Take a breather, Mel! Slow your fuckin canoe, before you wind up in General Hospital! A.J. Green will be fine! I promise! The 6'4" Green has apologized to his teammates, but that won't do them any good this weekend when they travel into Columbia, to face the #24 ranked South Carolina Gamecocks. Hey, A.J., catch this!

UNC SUSPENSIONS

Well this just fucking pisses me off... Our #4 UNC has possibly lost 7 starting defenders for Saturday's game due to racist and homophobic charges from the NCAA. I am calling Sharpton and we are heading to Chapel Hill to fix this problem.

Week One: Pricks of the Week Thursday Edition

Here they are folks... Place your bets, kick back, tear one down, and get ready for college football 2010. This is winning season for the Pricks and without further adieu I give to you the well thought and well researched Pricks of the Week.


South Carolina -13.5 vs Southern Miss
These girls love the Cocks! Well that means they love the Pricks! And we love you too!


Utah -3 vs Pitt
Can't touch this one, but you are a bad girl... Salt Lake City is going to be rocking tonight and the Utes offense will be no different, I suggest grabbing a little bit on the 48.5 over as well... Just bet it and sing along with Tommy Shots.

So I put my hands up
They're playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin' my head like yeah
Moving my hips like yeah,
And I got my hands up,
They're playin my song
I know I'm gonna be ok
Yeahhhhhhhhhhh, It's a party in the S-L-C
Yeahhhhhhhhhhh, It's a party in the S-L-C


USC -20.5 @ Hawaii
Nobody likes condoms, but all Pricks love the Trojans. Again, all Prickfollowers are invited to this 50 point Luau in Honolulu.

And best of all... The first WEEKLY Pricksrus Guaranteed Safe No Worries Best Bet of the Week... Minnesota Golden Gophers is a pick'em vs Middle Tennessee State, take the Gophers, hate the Big Ten if you lose.

Stay Tuned!

Week 1 CFB Picks are on the way! Bet the ranch! Bet your prick! You Can't Lose!!!

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #1

Alabama Crimson Tide

Can you smell that? The tide is coming in, it's that time of the fuckin month, baby! Roll Crimson Tide, ROLL! Have another Ocean Spray, bitches! The Defending BCS National Champions are ready for a fuckin repeat! It's been a happy offseason for the friends of the program, but that's never enough for Nick "Where's My Dick" Saban. This fuckin guy is about as cool as Jeff Miranda these days! Seriously, who offers Snooki a ring, and gets turned down!?!?! Bama has a lot of juice returning this season, and it starts in the offensive backfield with Heisman Trophy winner, Mark Ingram! He doesn't give a shit that his dad was doing his best Dr. Richard Kimble impression a couple of years ago! Mark Jr. was too busy running over the best defenses in the nation! Quarterback Greg McElroy is easily the weakest link on this offensive unit, and if he didn't have WR Julio Jones to throw to on the outside, then he'd be fuckin lost out there. McElroy is the same loser that has a Joey Fatone Fathead in his fuckin dorm room! Imagine that! The Tide lost Javier Arenas and Mount Cody, but their defense is still as stout as Holly Rowe when she's on her period! Don't listen to me though, I'm the same guy that turned his fraternity house into Shawshank Prison ala Red Redding! Who wants some cigarettes?!?! $3 for friends, and $5 if I don't like you! ROLL TIDE, ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Back-T0-Back!

Player To Watch: RB Trent Richardson, this sensational sophomore is more exciting than "Piranha 3D" in IMAX! That's saying something in my fuckin coloring book! Richardson lives his life the same way I color, outside the lines! Trent gets his chance in the spotlight this weekend with Mark Ingram out due to arthroscopic knee surgery.

Team Loser: QB Greg McElroy, this loser is about as cool as arts and crafts. He probably brings a travel mug to class, and sports a fannypack full of $2 bills!

San Jose State ventures into SEC country on Saturday to get their hineys handed to them by the Crimson Tide. This game will be so fuckin funny that I might forget to laugh!

The Game of The Year is easily October 2nd, when the 'Bama, and 85,000 will pack it in to Bryant-Denny Stadium, and host the Gators from Gainesville. 'Bama to the Bank...

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #3

Florida Gators

Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! The Tim Tebow era is over, and now it's time for the John Brantley Show! Quick! Change the channel! The only thing swampy down in Gainesville these days are Urban Meyer's underpants! The 6'3" Brantley has some mighty big shoes to fill, so I hope this prick is up for the challenge, or else it could be a long fuckin season for the Gators. Gainesville? I spent a fuckin week there, one night! Hot and sticky, like my balls! Chris Rainey leads the runningback corps, and Omarius Hines will be taking over for Aaron Hernandez in the hybrid WR-TE slot. The Gator fans are brutal, but these girls will tongue your noodle!

Player To Watch: CB Janoris Jenkins steps in, as Joe Haden moves on to the NFL.

The Gator Boys will kick off Saturday September 4th versus the Redhawks of Miami-Ohio.

Get fuckin ready for October 2nd, easily the game of the year up to this date, when Florida takes on the Crimson Tide in Tuscaloosa...

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #5

Ohio State Buckeyes

Terrelle "Don't Call Me Richard" Pryor leads the Fuckeyes into the 2010 season, and the Columbus faithful have higher expectations than me on a Friday night after I down a six-pack of Michelob Ultras and three Viagras! I'm a man! I'm horny! Quite frankly, the Ohio State Buckeyes are nothing but a bunch of fuckin slow pokes! Is that Jim Tressel or Rick fuckin Moranis, because these faggots must share the same playbook with the Little Giants! What a bunch of losers! You say thank you, I say please! Tressel sits down when he pees! There's no doubt in my mind that this roster full of jerkoffs sit indian style in team meetings! It doesn't get any more flamboyant than that! Seriously, try sitting fuckin indian-style when you have three legs! It ain't easy!!!!!!!!!! Does Pryor have Heisman aspirations? Sure he fuckin does! Who doesn't? Gimme a break, Terrelle! I wanna fuck Angie Dickinson, let's see what happens first! Tell Jimmy Tressel to loosen the fuck up, too! What's with the stale bowtie? Shit, Tressel is so fuckin tight, that he makes Hannah Storm's clothes look looser than Phoenix Marie's twat!

Player To Watch: QB Terrelle Pryor. Terrelle is tired of being called an athlete, and now wants to be referred to as a quarterback. Earth to Terrelle, nobody cares!!!!!!!!

The Buckeyes open up the Horseshoe tomorrow night versus Matthew McConaughey and the Marshall Thundering Herd.

November 20th is the date to remember for Fuckeye fans, as Tressel and his highwaters travel to Iowa to face the Hawkeyes in a crucial, late-season Big 10 matchup.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #6

Virginia Tech Hokies

Prediction- Beamer ball is black and better than ever this season. Look for lots of turnovers, plenty of blocked kicks, and multiple pregnant cheerleaders in Blacksburg. We see VTech as a national title contender with some serious downside... A brutal fucking schedule that includes Boise State, The U, North Carolina, and an early trip to Boston College should make for a sink or swim season for the Hokies. Ryan Williams is a legit Heisman contender at RB and should provide the majority of the punch for a team that struggled to put points up a year ago. I don't know why but when I think of VTech I think of really dumb girls... I like really dumb girls, they make me happy. Dumb girls make bad decisions and bad decisions make Pricks stand at attention, and Pricks standing at attention make big messes... And big messes are lots of fun... Oh well, go Hokies!

Best Player- Ryan Williams RB

Best Game- @Miami- November 20th. Wow! Hokie Pokie in South Florida? I wouldn't want to be in either locker room after this one. I think gunfire either celebratory or in anger is a pretty safe fuckin bet with these two teams.

First Game- Next Monday night vs. Boise State at FedEx Field in D.C.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #7

Boise State Broncos

Coach Chris Petersen leads the much-hyped Broncos on to the blue turf this year, in this his 5th season at the helm. His record? 49-4! Not too shabby, Chris! It must be that blue fuckin turf up there in Idaho, that makes the ladies cream their panties! The girls of Boise State are similar to Coors Lights cans, when the rockies turn blue, that can of ammo is ice-fuckin-cold! When these broads' clits turn blue, then that means they're ready to fuck, suck, and run amuck! Such is life up in Idaho where the fresh scent of shellfish consumes the thin air so much that you'd think Jacques Cousteau was the fuckin head coach! These gals are naughty! It's not a stretch to believe the Broncos can make it all the way to the BCS Championship game behind Heisman Hopeful, QB Kellen Moore, but they won't be sneaking up on anyone this year. The loss of CB Kyle Wilson to Rex "Fupa" Ryan could result in some big plays for opposing offenses, but we expect Petersen to have his horses ready. Giddy up!

Player To Watch: QB Kellen Moore, last seasons 39 TD's to 3 INT's was the best ratio in NCAA history. Needless to say, Kellen doesn't eat his sunday gravy out of a jar.

The Broncos open up Monday night in an excellent non-conference game at Fedex Field in Landover,MD. Their opponent? Virginia Tech...

Save the Date: Friday November 19th, the Broncos host the pesky Pat Hill-led Fresno State Bulldogs, in what will be their last true test of the regular season.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #8

Texas Christian University Horned Frogs

Prediction- TCU's cheer squad was the center of attention last January when they attended the Fiesta Bowl and did everything except get into stirrups to show themselves off to the world. Well, let me be the first to say from the bottom of my heart... Thank You. Tommy has a question for the girl in the purple shorts... If I kiss a frog, will you kiss my prick? Or better yet, if you kiss a frog, can I kiss your kitty? The team will be good, however only has two games of any significance... Oregon State this Saturday and Utah on November 6th. The Pricks love kick returners so All Prick special teamer Jeremy Kerley is right up our alley, and the rumor is he is just absolutely HUGE... QB Andy Dalton is a complete fucking disgrace and that could be all that stands between the Frogs and January glory.

Best Player- KR/PR/WR Jeremy Kerley, Recently asked at a press conference... "Jeremy I have a question for you?"
Kerley simply responded... "It is 9 inches soft, next question." We like this guy.

Best Game- @Utah November 6th in Salt Lake City... TCU has never beaten Utah in SLC, and only bested the Utes twice in their 6 seasons of conference play.

First Game- Oregon State on Saturday in Dallas... Get your fuckin popcorn ready!!! Beavers!!! Fuckin Beavers!!! How can a man love Beavers and hate Oregon State? Where is that faggot Socrates when you need a real question answered?

Can the Frogs do it? Can they stuff the Beavers with their D? Can they spread the Beavers up in the air? Can they tire them out and pound those fuckin sweaty Beavers on the fuckin ground? Thats it Froggies pound that fuckin Beaver! Pound it!!! Shave that fuckin Beaver and make a hat out of the hair!!! Slay the Beaver!!! Trim that Beaver up and eat it like a god damn soufflé!!!

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #9

Texas Longhorns

It's party time down in Austin, and the Longhorns are looking to lasso some cowgirl clam this season! Mack Brown and company decided to remain in the Big XII, so I expect big fuckin things from the Burnt Orange this year. Exit Cunt McCoy, enter Garrett Gilbert! That's right folks, who's eating Gilbert's rear-end? How about tailback Cody Johnson? He's always hungry for some balls! You can slice it this way, or that fuckin way, but I still think the Longhorns rule the Lone-Star State when it comes to the pigskin. Nothing is sweeter than those Austin gals in cowboy boots, especially when they jam the heels up their fannies! Woahhhhh!!! Just look at these broads! These girls could smoke a cigarette with their twats, ash it in my O'Doul's, and I'd still guzzle it straight outta the fuckin bottle! You don't fuckin think so? Test me, bitch! Make my fuckin day, Bevo!

Player To Watch: CB Aaron Williams. Texas continues to churn out top-tier defensive backs, the way my prick continues to churn out Country Crock!

Texas will start their season on the road Saturday at Rice. The Horns will Hook those Hooters!

October 16th, the Longhorns travel to Lincoln, in a pivotal Big XII matchup. Hook 'em Horns!

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #11

Nebraska Cornhuskers

Prediction- The CornPricks will be very solid this year in the weakest division in all of college football... I am pretty sure this blog could put together a few guys and compete week in and week out with Kansas, KState, Iowa State, Colorado, and Mizzewww... All Prick first teamer Jared "Prick" Crick will replace Ndamukong Suh and he is up to the challenge, anchoring a defense that returns 8 starters and gave up a meager 10.4 per contest a year ago. The Huskers should win a MINIMUM of 10 games this season and could contend for the national championship given their laugher of a schedule. Western Kentucky, Idaho, and South Dakota State will all make trips to Lincoln this season and none of them will win... How about those girls? I guess Tommy Shots has finally found a reason to go to Nebraska... You think that girl can shine a helmet while wearing a helmet? I do.

Best Player- DT Jared "Prick" Crick

Best Game- October 16, Texas comes to Lincoln... If the Huskers win this game they are BCS bound, no questions asked.

First Game- Saturday vs. Western Kentucky in Lincoln.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #12

Penn State Nittany Lions

Happy's got the best players money can buy!!! Joe Paterno returns for his 1,000th year as head coach in Happy Valley! This guy is outta breath just from whipping his prick out to take a leak! Daryll Clark has moved on, and now Penn State is searching for a starting quarterback. I don't see what's taking so fuckin long, unless Paterno has his head stuck in a pan of manicotti, give someone the fuckin job already! The Nittany Lions are softer than dogshit, as only 16 of their last 51 victories have come against BCS opponents. Enough is enough! No wonder why it's Happy Valley! They always have happy fuckin endings in State College! It's not that hard when you're playing University of Phoenix and Devry at home every year! Outside of playing Alabama in a couple weeks, the rest of their non-conference schedule is easier than Rachel Starr!

Player To Watch: LB Michael Mauti. This prick is talented, and coming back healthy, which is very important with losses to the NFL at this position.

The Nittany Lions kick off their season at home versus mighty Youngstown State!

Penn State travels to Columbus, OH on November 13th, in a game that could decide the Big Ten Championship.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #13

Wisconsin Badgers

Prediction- The Pricks hate the Badgers because the Badgers are boring, and boring Badgers make for limp Pricks. I guess they will win 9 games and head to the Alamo Bowl to beat Texas Tech, ho hum... Tell someone who cares. They really don't play anyone of significance this season, just like last season and the season before that. Out of conference scheduling at Wisco has become an absolute fucking embarrassment and this year is no different with games vs. UNLV, San Jose State, and Austin Peay. I can't do this anymore, the Wisconsin post is over.

Best Player- Probably some overweight running back who will run for 300 yards against Purdue and then suck in the NFL because he is so slow... It is like some guy bragging about what a fucking Cocksman he is and then you find out he is drilling midgets, and retards just to tell you he got laid.

Best Game- October 16, Ohio State in Madison... Great opportunity for the OSU players to accumulate some of those little Buckeyes on their helmets.

First Game- Saturday vs. UNLV... The fat running back du jour in Madison has a big game.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #14

Arkansas Razorbacks

What can you say about these fucks? Bobby Petrino? Who does this prick think he's fuckin kidding? I rather drive a fuckin Mini-Cooper to prom, and have that loser from the State-Farm commercials be my date, than play a fuckin down for Bobby "I Have A Tiny" Petrino! The hype rests on the right arm of QB Ryan Mallet, who was driven outta Ann Arbour by Dick Rodriguez, and now has 2010 Heisman Hopes in Fayetteville. I know it's not my turn to play hero, but I can't root for the Hogs, and that's got a lot to do with Bobby Petrino. He's the definition of a hog, and that's why his favorite actor is Robin Williams. Why? Because he wants to fuck Mrs. Doubtfire! Woo Pig Sooie!!!

Player To Watch: QB Ryan Mallet. If you don't know this fuckin guy's name by now, then the girls you bang probably only open up the zipper in their jeans. This kid has a monster arm, but he might be the next coming of Jay Cutler...

The Razorbacks open up at home versus Tennessee Tech on Saturday! No offense, but I've seen better games at Chucky Cheese's.

Arkansas will be looking forward to an October 23rd rendezvous with former coach Houston "Suck My" Nutt, and his Ole' Miss Rebels.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #15

Oregon Ducks

Prediction- Jeremiah Masoli? Burglary charge... You little fucking moron. New QB? Nate Costa, we'll see how this goes but in my opinion it is a good move. Reason? For some reason Mexican QB's are good. Jeff Garcia, Tony Romo, Mark Sanchez, Marc Bulger, J.P. Losman, and from the NFL's past we have Jim Plunkett... All of these guys are Mexican so the Pricks are thinking there is something in the water down there... Something in the water in Mexico that doesn't make you piss out of your ass and beg for death? Yep, that is what we are saying. We will base this entire prediction on the fact that there has never been a bad Mexican QB other than Moses Moreno, Costa will be no different and Oregon will win 10 games.

Best Player- RB LaMichael James, Oregon RB's are usually good due to their significant time spent outrunning law enforcement.

Best Game- October 30th @USC

First Game- Saturday at home vs. New Mexico... New Mexico? I think Costa is going to be pretty fucking comfortable with the Lobos... After all, he is from Old Mexico.... ARRIBA!!!!

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #16

Miami Hurricanes

It's all about the U! It's all about the U! It's all about those fuckin boys from Coral Gables this year! They don't give a fuckin fuck who they fuck, as long as they fuckin jizz all over those cocksuckin' Trojans! That means you Lane Kiffin! I think I'd rather eat guacamole out of Gabourey Sidibe's ass after she mowed down a few Tortadas, than listen to a word that fuckin jagoff has to say! Randy Shannon and company have quite the schedule this season, so I'm hoping the gals on South Beach have their legs spread, and clits wide open, because Craig Cooper eats Viagra for breakfast! I thought I said I like my ORANGE JUICE with some pulp!

Player To Watch: Jacory Harris, the 'Canes QB, needs to cut down on interceptions, the way I need to cut down on Brazzers.com!

Miami opens up Saturday, September 4th, versus Florida A & M, so I think I'd rather watch softcore! Maybe the feature film "Species" will do, and I don't even like Sci-Fi!

September 11th, the Hurricanes will travel to the Horseshoe in Columbus to take on the Buckeyes. This is an incredible non-conference matchup, so lets just hope Brent Musburger doesn't cream his fuckin trousers prior to that faggot dotting the I!

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW #17

Florida State Seminoles

Prediction- The tribe and Chief Osceola are going to be resurgent under their new HC and longtime Bowden offensive guru Jimbo Fisher. Look for the Noles' to play like the girls at their school act, fast and very loose. The offense will be commanded by perennial douchebag Christian Ponder and of course they will have 5-10 WR's capable of breaking the big one. Big question for them has to be schedule, a trip to Blacksburg plus out of conference games vs. Oklahoma, BYU, and the Gators means a nine win season would be terrific.

Best Player and Biggest Twat- QB Christian Ponder

Best Game- Florida, November 27th

First Game- Samford at home this Saturday... Just imagine all of the freshman trim in Tallahassee getting ready for their first Football Saturday Slutscapade... Makes Tommy wanty.