Europe Wins The Ryder Cup!

Have you heard the expression 'wearing egg on your face?' Well, Corey Pavin is wearing fuckin prick on his face! USA really blew this fuckin Ryder Cup, and I have to place all of the blame on the Captain Fuckin Weasel. All Pavin did was assemble a bunch of fuckin losers! Sweet captain's picks, Corey, you good for nothing cocksucker! I rather pretend my fuckin prick was a pumpkin, and carve a jack-0-lantern into my beanbag, before I'd let this guy take over the Ryder Cup team. He sucks more prick than Sasha fuckin Grey! If Pavin's needledick was a golf shot, it would be a fuckin flub! Get lost, you loser!

Let It Rydeeeee!!!

The 2010 Ryder Cup is set to begin in just a couple of hours, so be prepared for a weekend full of hijinx on the links! Dustin "Tongue My" Johnson and Phil "Fuck Off" Mickelson are ready to face off against the pair of Lee "Where's Waldo" Westwood and Martin "Cosmo" Kaymer! Now that's what I call starting the tournament off with a bada-fuckin-bing!!! It's time to make it nestle from a buck-eighty out! Call the fuckin babysitter! Dustin Johnson has been a bad fuckin B-O-Y, because he likes to rack up the D-U-I's!!! What the fuck do I know, though? I'm just the prick across the pond sipping Bigelow amd smoking Camels out of British gals' boxes!!! Let it fuckin RYDEEEEEEEEE!!!! USA! USA! USA!!!!!

Rory: "Tiger Is Nothing But A Virgin!"

Corey "The Weasel" Pavin and Colin "Full Monty" Montgomerie must arrange for Rory Mcllroy and Tiger Woods to face one another in singles starting tomorrow. The Ryder Cup is back, and it's better than ever, as the Euros and Americans are set to square off in what should be an epic weekend in Wales. Celtic Manor abounds for these pricks with sticks, but all eyes are on the youngster Rory Mcllroy, and the seasoned, horndog-veteran Tiger Woods. Earlier this week, Rory stepped up to the tee-box and proclaimed Tiger has never even gotten laid in his entire life! This is unprecedented territory for such a young and inexperienced golfer, but Rory has the talent to back it up. Tiger? He has better things to do, bigger fish to fuck and fry. Rory is just small potatoes to a professional such as Tiger, and that's why the horndog thinks he should shut his fuckin trap, before he sticks his fuckin salami in it! It's going to be a fun weekend across the pond, so get your condoms ready!