The New Orleans Hornets have jumped out to a 7-0 start, and are playing good ball down in the Big Easy. All 12,479 people packed into New Orleans Arena to watch the Hornets defeat the hapless Clippers last night, in what was another sparse crowd. The reason? Nobody gives a shit about this fuckin franchise, especially during football season. No fuckin pom-poms here! No Hornets Starter jackets floating around in the bayou! If I blog any longer about the fuckin Hornets, then I might as well call this fuckin site VaginasRus! Perhaps I should crack open a Mikes Hard Lemonade, and watch Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?? I'll put my feet up, and pull my prick until it looks like Stretch fuckin Armstrong! Hey, Chris Paul! I got your assist right here, cockbreath!
If you didn't think John Wall had superstar enscribed on his prick, then you must wanna have a threesome with Lisa "Lady Licker" Leslie and Diana "The Dyke" Taurasi! The former Kentucky stud has burst on to the NBA scene in dramatic fashion with his tremendous talent, and fantastic dancing. Does he smoke grass? You bet your fuckin behind he does! Does he get tons of clams? You bet your fuckin prick he does! John "It's My Ball & I'll Cry If I Want To" Wall does things his way, and his way only. I'd take this prick over Lebron James any day of the fuckin week, and 10 times on Sundays! This guy's game is as sweet as fuckin honey! Speaking of honey, this bitch I just met three fuckin weeks ago is already calling me honey! Who does she think I am? Winny the fuckin Pooh?!?! What? Do I have a bad fuckin cough or something?! Call me fuckin Children's Tylenol before you call me honey! Call me Robitussin, bitch! Unfuckinbelievable! It's my fuckin party, and I'll jizz if I want to! 
The 2010-2011 NBA regular season tips off tonight in Beantown, when the Boston Celtics take on the Miami Heat. In what is the most highly anticipated NBA season in quite some time, I expect the Celtics to get things started with a win in front of the home crowd. The heat is off tonight up in New England, and nobody wants to get a whiff of Lebron James because he smells like a fuckin wet bijon. I wouldn't trust that loser for a fuckin second! I don't even trust a fuckin GPS! Fuck off or suck me off! That's my fuckin motto! The Miami Heat have NOBODY other than the three Amigas, and they will be tested in the frontcourt tonight. The Heat are about as cool as Dr. Fuckin House! Take the Celtics in a PK! The NBA is black and better than ever! This just in, the new network for all Miami Heat games is PBS!
What's Greg Oden smoking besides cock these days? The former #1 pick has a lot of fuckin nerve saying he'll be an All-Star when he gets 100% healthy. All-Star what, Greg? All-Star fuckin flamer? All-Star jerkoff? The fact of the matter is that you can't stay healthy! Even Magic Johnson has more basketball left in his prick than you! I rather have Rebecca fuckin Lobo in the middle of the paint, than your disgusting fuckin ass! Talk about bust, huh! Kevin Durant should bust all over your face, and call it a fuckin love story! Take that, Gregory! Nobody cares about you running your fat trap, give your paycheck back to the Blazers, and get the fuck outta here!
Look! It's a bird, it's a plane!?!? Nope! It's just a fuckin pussy, and his name is Dwyane "Pillow-Biter" Wade! The Heat opened up their preseason schedule last night down in South Beach, and it took Wade just three minutes before he had to remove himself from the game with a strained right hamstring. Wade will be re-evaluated next week, and I expect the Heat medical staff to discover it's not his hamstring that is strained. Wade is suffering from an inflamed cunt-muscle! Yes, folks, it's a very common injury for this fuckin fraud of a basketball player. I can't stomach Wade or anything that has to do with this faggot fuckin team! Pound some fuckin Gerber, Dwyane! You fuckin baby! There is not a shred of fuckin doubt in my mind that Wade and Lebron are the kind of faggots that cover their eyes when they go to a strip club! Losers! Grow a fuckin dick, Wade! You might as well shove a fuckin porcupine down your shorts, and call it a fuckin jock-strap! You, fuck, you!
I hope you're listening Stan Van Gundy! There will be no more fuckin mock-turtlenecks underneath your sport jacket this season or ever again!!! The NBA has finally done something positive, and they deserve a pat on the prick for it! Mock-turtlenecks have been officially outlawed! No more gazing at Van Gundy's bitchtits for three fuckin hours! Thank God! Look presentable, pal, act like you've been out in public before. Have some respect for yourself, and stop trying to dress like Rosie O'Donnell all the time! Grow up! You're a fifty-year-old man for goodness sakes!!! Put a tie on! I don't care if you clip it to your fuckin prick, just wear it, you dyke!
Some guys take their talents to South Beach, and others take their talents to Los Angeles, Chicago, or New York City. Carmelo Anthony? He prefers Newark, NJ. Who wouldn't want to play in the car-stealing capital of the USA? Personally, I steal cars all the fuckin time, I don't care if it's a fuckin Hyundai or Fisher-Price! If it's got a steering wheel, then it belongs to me! I don't give a fuckin fuck what anybody has to say! Carmelo going to the Nets is about as cool as sporting a fuckin chain-wallet! Who the fuck wants to play in Newark? The Nets are also getting rid of Devin Harris, so who will play point-guard? Let's not forget that Carmelo couldn't advance past the first round of the NBA Playoffs for his first five consecutive seasons. The Nuggets needed Chauncey Billups before they could finally take the next step, and the Nets will have no such player if they acquire Anthony. In essence, it will be the Brook Lopez and Carmelo Anthony show, my guess is that this program will suck more than Audrey Bitoni! Have fun watching The Simpsons together, you faggots! New Jersey Drive & The Simpsons non-fuckin-stop!!!! LOSER CITY!
Lefag James's popularity rating has seen an incredible decline since January 2010, according to a recent report, and he is currently the 6th most disliked athlete around. It's about fuckin time everyone took the blinders off to see the light. I rather spend my fuckin summers at Camp Nowhere, than root for this fuckin jagoff. James makes Bob Vila look like a fuckin amateur out there, because there is no bigger tool in the fuckin universe than Lefag. I'd watch softcore porn for the rest of my life, as long as it meant this faggot would never win a ring. He could stick his prick in a paper-shredder for all I care! It's not my turn to play the fuckin hero, I left my fuckin cape in the telephone booth! Have fun spending your Friday nights with Mike Vick and Terrell Owens, you loser! I rather be locked in a room with Lance Bass and Ricky Martin! No homo!
Carmelo Anthony is looking more and more like an ex-Denver Nugget these days. The Nuggets offered the 26-year-old superstar a three-year contract extension worth $65.3 million back in July, and Melo' has yet to put the pen to the paper, and apparently has no intention to do so. I don't blame him, what's there to do in Denver? Last time I checked, guys like Carmelo don't watch the Winter Olympics, and they certainly don't ski or snowboard. This is Carmelo Anthony, not Sal Masekela. The Syracuse alum recently got hitched in the Big Apple, and is born and bred in Brooklyn,NY. His wife, Lala, is also a native New Yorker, and Amar'e Stoudemire is a very close friend of the couple. So what does this all mean? The current rumors say all signs are pointing to the NY Knicks, but Knickerbocker fans know better than to get horny over shallow rumors. Carmelo is selling his Littleton estate in Denver, and sources say he prefers New York. I wanna bang Angie Dickinson, so let's see what happens first.
Miami Heat forward Udonis Haslem was arrested for possession of grass on Sunday following a traffic stop in Miami-Dade County. Good for Haslem, he's probably the only cool fuckin guy on the roster! I don't see what the big deal is to be honest, all this prick was doing was cruising around in his Mercedes with his oven-mitts on! Udonis was caught with over 20 grams of marijuana!!!! Woahhhh! That's a lot of grass! The Heat forward is being charged with a 3rd-degree felony, faces a $5,000 fine, and a possible prison sentence of up to five years! Maybe by the time Haslem gets out of jail, Chris Bosh will be able to piss without having to use a pair of fuckin tweezers, bunch of fuckin losers. I rather audition for the gay-man's choir, than play for the Miami Heat!
There are reports that the disgusting and awful rehiring of the "False Prophet" will not pass through the NBA's Constitution & By-Laws! This rehiring would be a VIOLATION! No shit! It's a violation in more fuckin ways than one, but this is the only one that truly matters. It wouldn't shock me in the least bit if Isiah resigned from his head-coaching job at Florida International any day now, in order to make sure he becomes a "consultant" for the New York Knicks. What a disgrace of a human being, what a fuckin faggot. If this prick was drowning, then I'd toss him a fuckin cinder block. What a loser!
If James Dolan isn't the worst fuckin owner in professional sports history, then I don't know who is. This fuckin loser brings back the ultimate "False Prophet" to an organization he ran into the fuckin ground just a few years ago. Isiah Thomas being hired as a basketball consultant is a fuckin disgrace, it makes me wanna puke all over myself, and not clean it up for weeks on end. As a die-hard and loyal Knick fan, this is seriously depressing, and the decision should be ripped to fuckin pieces. Isiah is a LIAR! He lost an $11 Million dollar sexual harassment, and embarrassed the entire franchise! I think I rather have Cecil Fielder sit on my fuckin face immediately following a game played in 95-degree heat, than have anything to do with this fuckin scumbag. Isiah Thomas is a fuckin trashpale. The guy is nothing but a creep and a loser. Just look at that gross turtleneck, and the pig he hit on! What a typical disgusting display!
A Chicago judge has issued an arrest warrant for the useless Eddy Curry. Curry has been to ask his limo driver to jerk him off, but this new allegation is another low blow (no pun intended) to the fat center. Worthless Eddy owes $660k, stemming from a settlement that was reached back in 2001 after Curry was arrested for banging and 14-year old broad. Curry is already in a ton of debt, and has barely even paid $200k of this settlement. This is unbelievable for a guy who makes $10.5 Million a year. I rather slam my fuckin prick in peach pudding, and rinse it off with 151, then spend one second with this Creepy Curry alone.
David Stern has fined Cavs owner Dan Gilbert $100,000 for his comments regarding Lefag's departure from his hometown team. This is a very poor job by Stern, who was obviously feeling the pressure to take some sort of action after the jerkoff Rev. Jesse Jackson opened his fat mouth. I'm very disappointed in David Stern, and I hope Gilbert holds strong with his stance.
Have you ever thought about how all these hot-shot players like Kobe, Dwayne Wade, Lebron James, & Carmelo always say how they love playing at Madison Square Garden, it's their favorite place to play, it's the best place to play, the biggest stage, I love playing there, blah, blah, blah. It's all bunch of shit, because these jagoffs are too scared to sign up for 41 games at the Garden. Why not play on the biggest stage night in and night out? Who knows, maybe it's me, maybe I'm a little fucked up maybe. These players profess their love for the Garden, and then they sit on their fuckin hands! Make like Senator John McCain and put your fuckin money where your mouth is! Stay on that fuckin craps table! Sit and stay! Nestle! Maybe the Knicks will get lucky and ink Brian Scalabrine!
