Oswalt Heading To The NL East! Breaking News!!!

Multiple orgasms are reporting that Roy Oswalt will approve a trade to the Phillies, and thrust himself right into a pennant race. This trade is positive for both parties involved, and I look forward to seeing how Oswalt likes his cheesesteak. Does he like it wiz-wit? Or wiz-witout? Maybe he just likes to shove hoagies up his tuccus, I don't fuckin know. I don't hold his hand when he crosses the street, who the fuck am I? I'm just a prick who likes his women the way he likes his horses - FAST.